“I'm twenty-nine, happily single and getting it on a regular basis' I said, enjoying the way their thin lips hung open in an impressive O.'Well I've never,' Jane gasped.'Clearly. You should try it some time. I understand Mr Smith is so vision impaired you might have a shot there.'Their appalled shrieks were music to my ears and I quickly made my escape.”
―
Robyn Peterman,
Fashionably Dead
“Do you mind if we leave here so I can chain smoke 'til I throw up so it will be easier to quit?” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“He shifted his attention back to me and leaned in closer. “I told you to behave. I don’t want to have to arrest you ever again.”“Um . . . okay.”I felt him slide something under my hand. He leaned in even closer, his mouth by my ear, and whispered, “Although I wouldn’t mind handcuffing you.”Oh. My. God.” ― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?
“Her eyes narrowed, but she wasn't yelling.I think she liked me... kind of. The way a mother would like an annoying spastic two year old who belonged to someone else.” ― Robyn Peterman, Ready to Were
“Life happens whether we are ready or not—the only choice or control we have is whether or not we will rise to meet its challenges.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“Crazy didn’t just run in my family . . . it stopped and strolled and hung out.” ― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?
“jumping up and down like a Mexican jumping bean on crack.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“I was speechless. Rare for me, but if anyone was capable of shocking me to silence, it was my mother.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“I figured since I’d arrived in Crazytown, I may as well take off my coat and stay a while.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“When you die, the only things you leave behind are memories in the minds of those who loved you. That was how you lived on.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“You’re my BFF and I would shred someone’s skin from their body and shove their bones down their dead ass throat for you.” ― Robyn Peterman, Ready to Were
“Do not mess with my friends, myself or my Prada.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“It takes a while for the heat to work in this piece of shit, but when it kicks in, you’ll sweat like a fat whore at confession.” ― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?
“Ready does not factor into the equation, Angel. Life happens whether we are ready or not—the only choice or control we have is whether or not we will rise to meet its challenges.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“Maybe after I saved everyone we could all take a ride on the fucking Ferris wheel…Fuck was now added to my vocabulary. It was an outstanding word that could basically mean just about anything. It could be used as a noun, verb and adverb. It rolled off the tongue with ease and even if you spoke a foreign language it was difficult not to understand fuck off or off you fuck or fuck you.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead in Diapers
“Don't know. Never let a wolf near my neck." He grinned and gave me a quick hug. "I love you, Essie. Before you came into my life, I had considered ending myself. Three hundred years is a long time to be alone. You've given me hope, a career as a drag queen and a dysfunctional family. I am supremely grateful. Bite me."And because I trusted him....I did.” ― Robyn Peterman, Ready to Were
“Cockmotherhumpershitpissbodoinkeewacker,” ― Robyn Peterman, Pirate Dave and his Randy Adventures
“How about Al?” Sam suggested. “Perfect,” Dave grinned. “Um . . . Hi Poseidon, this is Al.” “Al who?” “Al Jacques Yuoff!” Dave snorted, desperately trying not to laugh as Hairy Sam rocked back and forth giggling. “Al Jacques Yuoff?” Poseidon boomed. “You’ll jack me off? Thanks you fat bastard!” Dave shrieked and hung up quickly.” ― Robyn Peterman, Pirate Dave and his Randy Adventures
“Hanks grin almost sent me into meltdown. The kind where I killed him, but first I would stick my tongue down his throat and ride him till he was blind.” ― Robyn Peterman, Ready to Were
“Do you mind if we leave here so I can chain smoke 'til I throw up so it will be easier to quit?” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“He shifted his attention back to me and leaned in closer. “I told you to behave. I don’t want to have to arrest you ever again.”“Um . . . okay.”I felt him slide something under my hand. He leaned in even closer, his mouth by my ear, and whispered, “Although I wouldn’t mind handcuffing you.”Oh. My. God.” ― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?
“Her eyes narrowed, but she wasn't yelling.I think she liked me... kind of. The way a mother would like an annoying spastic two year old who belonged to someone else.” ― Robyn Peterman, Ready to Were
“Life happens whether we are ready or not—the only choice or control we have is whether or not we will rise to meet its challenges.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“Crazy didn’t just run in my family . . . it stopped and strolled and hung out.” ― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?
“jumping up and down like a Mexican jumping bean on crack.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“I was speechless. Rare for me, but if anyone was capable of shocking me to silence, it was my mother.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“I figured since I’d arrived in Crazytown, I may as well take off my coat and stay a while.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“When you die, the only things you leave behind are memories in the minds of those who loved you. That was how you lived on.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“You’re my BFF and I would shred someone’s skin from their body and shove their bones down their dead ass throat for you.” ― Robyn Peterman, Ready to Were
“Do not mess with my friends, myself or my Prada.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“It takes a while for the heat to work in this piece of shit, but when it kicks in, you’ll sweat like a fat whore at confession.” ― Robyn Peterman, How Hard Can It Be?
“Ready does not factor into the equation, Angel. Life happens whether we are ready or not—the only choice or control we have is whether or not we will rise to meet its challenges.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead
“Maybe after I saved everyone we could all take a ride on the fucking Ferris wheel…Fuck was now added to my vocabulary. It was an outstanding word that could basically mean just about anything. It could be used as a noun, verb and adverb. It rolled off the tongue with ease and even if you spoke a foreign language it was difficult not to understand fuck off or off you fuck or fuck you.” ― Robyn Peterman, Fashionably Dead in Diapers
“Don't know. Never let a wolf near my neck." He grinned and gave me a quick hug. "I love you, Essie. Before you came into my life, I had considered ending myself. Three hundred years is a long time to be alone. You've given me hope, a career as a drag queen and a dysfunctional family. I am supremely grateful. Bite me."And because I trusted him....I did.” ― Robyn Peterman, Ready to Were
“Cockmotherhumpershitpissbodoinkeewacker,” ― Robyn Peterman, Pirate Dave and his Randy Adventures
“How about Al?” Sam suggested. “Perfect,” Dave grinned. “Um . . . Hi Poseidon, this is Al.” “Al who?” “Al Jacques Yuoff!” Dave snorted, desperately trying not to laugh as Hairy Sam rocked back and forth giggling. “Al Jacques Yuoff?” Poseidon boomed. “You’ll jack me off? Thanks you fat bastard!” Dave shrieked and hung up quickly.” ― Robyn Peterman, Pirate Dave and his Randy Adventures
“Hanks grin almost sent me into meltdown. The kind where I killed him, but first I would stick my tongue down his throat and ride him till he was blind.” ― Robyn Peterman, Ready to Were
