“I see a tongue! Some asshole is licking my peephole.”
―
Mark Tufo,
Zombie Fallout
“Take heed your actions lest ye become like the enemy ye seek to destroy.” ― Mark Tufo
“Why didn’t I listen to my drill instructor from boot camp? He told us flat out, ‘Don’t EVER volunteer for anything! If you’re picked you go, but don’t EVER volunteer your worthless lives!’ Words to live by.” ― Mark Tufo, Zombie Fallout
“You’re kidding, right?” I asked in response to his song choice. I was being dragged through a tunnel by a tripping madman singing Disney songs…with zombies above me. I couldn’t have made this shit up if I tried.” ― Mark Tufo, 'Till Death Do Us Part
“Is he singing?” BT asked. “He is. What is that shit…REO Speedwagon? Why are you crackers always bat-shit crazy? You’d never see a black man tip-toeing through the zombies singing crappy 80’s music.” ― Mark Tufo, For the Fallen
“And Lord knows I’d pissed off enough people in my life that ‘friendly fire’ was always a personal concern of mine.” ― Mark Tufo, The End Has Come and Gone
“Tommy might be a boy in outer appearance but he was 500 years my senior and significantly more powerful than me. "We" had a serious problem really meant, "I" had a serious problem.” ― Mark Tufo, Rise of the Werewolf
“Talbot?” Tracy cried, barely able to contain her surprise or shock. “Is that really you?” She took a half step towards me. “Of course it is!” BT said, barreling towards me. “Who the fuck else would wear a tin foil hat!” ― Mark Tufo, 'Till Death Do Us Part
“Well that’s one benefit of the zombie apocalypse…drunk driving isn’t a crime anymore.” ― Mark Tufo, 'Till Death Do Us Part
“Ah, precocious kids, don’t you just want to throw them up against a wall and see if they stick?” ― Mark Tufo, A Plague Upon Your Family
“So let’s make sure we’re clear on this: Obviously the people that managed to get to the roof knew their lives were in danger. They had the presence of mind to climb to a safe haven and even to arm themselves as best they could. So far so good, but then one of the group decided that they might need some beverages to stave off thirst, still good. That person, fearing for his life, went to the beer section, which again is admirable, everyone knows beer is the nectar of the gods. But then he grabs Keystone Light? Are you kidding me? I’d rather eat the can than drink the contents.” ― Mark Tufo, Zombie Fallout
“They say drinking alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, well, neither does drinking milk.” ― Mark Tufo, An Old Beginning
“Holy shit, do you guys dare each other every night to see who can do the stupidest shit the next morning?” ― Mark Tufo, Into the Fire
“Men, by nature, are built for win or lose. We can deal with either scenario, sometimes poorly, other times with dignified grace. But we need to win or we need to lose.” ― Mark Tufo, An Old Beginning
“If you can't beat em. Become as crazy as a fuckin' loon and enjoy the ride.” ― Mark Tufo, An Old Beginning
“Mike, as the only black member of this dysfunctional group, I’m truly amazed that I’m still alive. I mean I’ve watched almost every horror movie ever made, and without fail, if a man of color is in the movie, he dies first. In recent years, however, it has gotten somewhat better. Now, we sometimes make it to second killed, after the ditzy blonde, but I’ve got to imagine that a brother’s life expectancy in any horror setting is generally a couple of hours, at most.” ― Mark Tufo, Alive In A Dead World
“Take heed your actions lest ye become like the enemy ye seek to destroy.’ ” ― Mark Tufo, Zombie Fallout
“it looked like we had gone through a car wash designed by Stephen King.” ― Mark Tufo, Zombie Fallout
“Women are smarter.” “Well, I mean, I know that. I guess I just didn’t realize how much more.” ― Mark Tufo, Tattered Remnants
“Take heed your actions lest ye become like the enemy ye seek to destroy.” ― Mark Tufo
“Why didn’t I listen to my drill instructor from boot camp? He told us flat out, ‘Don’t EVER volunteer for anything! If you’re picked you go, but don’t EVER volunteer your worthless lives!’ Words to live by.” ― Mark Tufo, Zombie Fallout
“You’re kidding, right?” I asked in response to his song choice. I was being dragged through a tunnel by a tripping madman singing Disney songs…with zombies above me. I couldn’t have made this shit up if I tried.” ― Mark Tufo, 'Till Death Do Us Part
“Is he singing?” BT asked. “He is. What is that shit…REO Speedwagon? Why are you crackers always bat-shit crazy? You’d never see a black man tip-toeing through the zombies singing crappy 80’s music.” ― Mark Tufo, For the Fallen
“And Lord knows I’d pissed off enough people in my life that ‘friendly fire’ was always a personal concern of mine.” ― Mark Tufo, The End Has Come and Gone
“Tommy might be a boy in outer appearance but he was 500 years my senior and significantly more powerful than me. "We" had a serious problem really meant, "I" had a serious problem.” ― Mark Tufo, Rise of the Werewolf
“Talbot?” Tracy cried, barely able to contain her surprise or shock. “Is that really you?” She took a half step towards me. “Of course it is!” BT said, barreling towards me. “Who the fuck else would wear a tin foil hat!” ― Mark Tufo, 'Till Death Do Us Part
“Well that’s one benefit of the zombie apocalypse…drunk driving isn’t a crime anymore.” ― Mark Tufo, 'Till Death Do Us Part
“Ah, precocious kids, don’t you just want to throw them up against a wall and see if they stick?” ― Mark Tufo, A Plague Upon Your Family
“So let’s make sure we’re clear on this: Obviously the people that managed to get to the roof knew their lives were in danger. They had the presence of mind to climb to a safe haven and even to arm themselves as best they could. So far so good, but then one of the group decided that they might need some beverages to stave off thirst, still good. That person, fearing for his life, went to the beer section, which again is admirable, everyone knows beer is the nectar of the gods. But then he grabs Keystone Light? Are you kidding me? I’d rather eat the can than drink the contents.” ― Mark Tufo, Zombie Fallout
“They say drinking alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, well, neither does drinking milk.” ― Mark Tufo, An Old Beginning
“Holy shit, do you guys dare each other every night to see who can do the stupidest shit the next morning?” ― Mark Tufo, Into the Fire
“Men, by nature, are built for win or lose. We can deal with either scenario, sometimes poorly, other times with dignified grace. But we need to win or we need to lose.” ― Mark Tufo, An Old Beginning
“If you can't beat em. Become as crazy as a fuckin' loon and enjoy the ride.” ― Mark Tufo, An Old Beginning
“Mike, as the only black member of this dysfunctional group, I’m truly amazed that I’m still alive. I mean I’ve watched almost every horror movie ever made, and without fail, if a man of color is in the movie, he dies first. In recent years, however, it has gotten somewhat better. Now, we sometimes make it to second killed, after the ditzy blonde, but I’ve got to imagine that a brother’s life expectancy in any horror setting is generally a couple of hours, at most.” ― Mark Tufo, Alive In A Dead World
“Take heed your actions lest ye become like the enemy ye seek to destroy.’ ” ― Mark Tufo, Zombie Fallout
“it looked like we had gone through a car wash designed by Stephen King.” ― Mark Tufo, Zombie Fallout
“Women are smarter.” “Well, I mean, I know that. I guess I just didn’t realize how much more.” ― Mark Tufo, Tattered Remnants
