“I don't want to die, but I wish waking up every morning didn't feel like such a fuck-you every single time.”
―
Hannah Moskowitz,
Gone, Gone, Gone
“When you're grieving, the times you're happy are so much more tragic than the times that you aren't. Because being happy feels fake and it feels temporary and it feels meaningless. And hating being happy is a shitty way to live.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Invincible Summer
“My life is just something that happened to me.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Invincible Summer
“If this were a fairy tale, this would be the part where the fishboy appears and Diana shoots him through the heart. Because he is a tragic hero, he's our fucking Gatsby, and he lived for his fish and he has to die for his fish. He would never let my fake authority, condoning his abandonment, making up rules about what's okay just to save his life, convince him to give up his family. He would never leave.He would know that without him, none of us will be as good. Me, without a friend; and the fish, without a brother; and the island, without a story; and Diana, without her something real, we will all be a little bit less than we were before we knew him.So he wouldn't leave. Not until I could come with him. And I have never been less able to leave than I am now.But this isn't a fairy tale, and he doesn't appear. We stand here for a long time.He really left.Because it was all that we could do.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“At the Hospital, everyone thinks about dying.And I'd never been much for romanticizing death-especially not suicide. I'd always been a fan of staying alive.After all, you basically do all you can not to die. All the time. The search for immortality isn't just from storybooks. every day you do it. You buckle your seat-belt, you take vitamin supplements, look both was before you cross the street. And you really think your doing all you can. Bullshit. We can lift weights for fucking hours and we're still going to die.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Break
“Hellos are harder than good-byes” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Invincible Summer
“There is no going back, so fuck you, universe.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Invincible Summer
“Just wanted to let you know I got in all right. And also that my chest hurts as if I MAY BE DYING, because I accidentally left my heart on your kitchen counter. I hate when that happens.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Gone, Gone, Gone
“I think this is the part where we stop pretending we’re not going to see each other again.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“I hate when people do this. I hate when people hide their cards to feel secret and strong. That's no way of dealing with anything.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Gone, Gone, Gone
“I could totally be a . . .whatever.”“Sailor?”“On a boat?”“Yep.”“Yeah.” He’ll sigh all wistfully. “I could be a sailor. But I’m too busy being a fish.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“I close my eyes and listen to the ocean.I'm thinking about sailing, to England or maybe France. The way the wind would feel on my face and the sound of his voice screaming my name through his laughter. The waves would crash like applause. God, I remember when I used to be afraid of the ocean.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“I like books. I thought you liked books.""Let's be honest, Rudy, books are pornography for brains. All that subtext and bullshit and hidden imagery.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“What’s love when you’re too fucked up to feel it right?I think it’s a weapon.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Gone, Gone, Gone
“I ignore people who need me and latch on to people who don't. I dive into every other world except my own just because I want something more glamorous than my real life. I do destructive shit so a stupid hypocritical fish will like me.I fall for fish instead of girls.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“You stop noticing pain, is the thing.You notice it when it’s really bad, or when it’s different, but… on the rare occasion someone asks me what it’s like to live with RA, I don’t ever know what to say. They ask me if its painful, and I say yes because I know intellectually it must be, because the idea of doing some of the things that other people do without thinking fills me with dread and panic, but I always think about it mechanically. I can’t do x. I don’t want to do y. I don’t continue the thought into I can’t do that because it would hurt. I don’t want to do that because then I would be in pain. You can’t live like that. There’s only so much you can carry quietly by yourself, so you turn an illness into a list of rules instead of a list of symptoms, and you take pills that don’t help, and you do stretches, and you think instead of feeling. You think.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Sick Kids in Love
“Even though Graham and I went back to arguing and stealing socks and hiding each other's toothbrushes in the litter box, I didn't forget that Graham didn't think I needed a best friend, because either it meant he thought I was cool enough to handle everything alone or—and this was what I hoped—it meant that he was my best friend, quietly, forever, no matter what.I mean, after all, whose skates had I been wearing?” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Zombie Tag
“I’m bored of this. I want to hear about you. Favorite color. Go.”I laugh. “Green.”“I’m green!”“Fuck yeah you are.”“Why are you laughing? Isn’t this what friends do?”“Interrogate each other?”“What? Uh, sure. I don’t know what that means. But yes.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“You're absolved," I tell him.He brings his eyes back up to mine. There's no fucking way he knows what that word means. That's a word I dream someone will say to me.So I put it in his language. "You're free.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“When you're grieving, the times you're happy are so much more tragic than the times that you aren't. Because being happy feels fake and it feels temporary and it feels meaningless. And hating being happy is a shitty way to live.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Invincible Summer
“My life is just something that happened to me.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Invincible Summer
“If this were a fairy tale, this would be the part where the fishboy appears and Diana shoots him through the heart. Because he is a tragic hero, he's our fucking Gatsby, and he lived for his fish and he has to die for his fish. He would never let my fake authority, condoning his abandonment, making up rules about what's okay just to save his life, convince him to give up his family. He would never leave.He would know that without him, none of us will be as good. Me, without a friend; and the fish, without a brother; and the island, without a story; and Diana, without her something real, we will all be a little bit less than we were before we knew him.So he wouldn't leave. Not until I could come with him. And I have never been less able to leave than I am now.But this isn't a fairy tale, and he doesn't appear. We stand here for a long time.He really left.Because it was all that we could do.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“At the Hospital, everyone thinks about dying.And I'd never been much for romanticizing death-especially not suicide. I'd always been a fan of staying alive.After all, you basically do all you can not to die. All the time. The search for immortality isn't just from storybooks. every day you do it. You buckle your seat-belt, you take vitamin supplements, look both was before you cross the street. And you really think your doing all you can. Bullshit. We can lift weights for fucking hours and we're still going to die.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Break
“Hellos are harder than good-byes” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Invincible Summer
“There is no going back, so fuck you, universe.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Invincible Summer
“Just wanted to let you know I got in all right. And also that my chest hurts as if I MAY BE DYING, because I accidentally left my heart on your kitchen counter. I hate when that happens.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Gone, Gone, Gone
“I think this is the part where we stop pretending we’re not going to see each other again.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“I hate when people do this. I hate when people hide their cards to feel secret and strong. That's no way of dealing with anything.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Gone, Gone, Gone
“I could totally be a . . .whatever.”“Sailor?”“On a boat?”“Yep.”“Yeah.” He’ll sigh all wistfully. “I could be a sailor. But I’m too busy being a fish.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“I close my eyes and listen to the ocean.I'm thinking about sailing, to England or maybe France. The way the wind would feel on my face and the sound of his voice screaming my name through his laughter. The waves would crash like applause. God, I remember when I used to be afraid of the ocean.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“I like books. I thought you liked books.""Let's be honest, Rudy, books are pornography for brains. All that subtext and bullshit and hidden imagery.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“What’s love when you’re too fucked up to feel it right?I think it’s a weapon.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Gone, Gone, Gone
“I ignore people who need me and latch on to people who don't. I dive into every other world except my own just because I want something more glamorous than my real life. I do destructive shit so a stupid hypocritical fish will like me.I fall for fish instead of girls.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“You stop noticing pain, is the thing.You notice it when it’s really bad, or when it’s different, but… on the rare occasion someone asks me what it’s like to live with RA, I don’t ever know what to say. They ask me if its painful, and I say yes because I know intellectually it must be, because the idea of doing some of the things that other people do without thinking fills me with dread and panic, but I always think about it mechanically. I can’t do x. I don’t want to do y. I don’t continue the thought into I can’t do that because it would hurt. I don’t want to do that because then I would be in pain. You can’t live like that. There’s only so much you can carry quietly by yourself, so you turn an illness into a list of rules instead of a list of symptoms, and you take pills that don’t help, and you do stretches, and you think instead of feeling. You think.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Sick Kids in Love
“Even though Graham and I went back to arguing and stealing socks and hiding each other's toothbrushes in the litter box, I didn't forget that Graham didn't think I needed a best friend, because either it meant he thought I was cool enough to handle everything alone or—and this was what I hoped—it meant that he was my best friend, quietly, forever, no matter what.I mean, after all, whose skates had I been wearing?” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Zombie Tag
“I’m bored of this. I want to hear about you. Favorite color. Go.”I laugh. “Green.”“I’m green!”“Fuck yeah you are.”“Why are you laughing? Isn’t this what friends do?”“Interrogate each other?”“What? Uh, sure. I don’t know what that means. But yes.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
“You're absolved," I tell him.He brings his eyes back up to mine. There's no fucking way he knows what that word means. That's a word I dream someone will say to me.So I put it in his language. "You're free.” ― Hannah Moskowitz, Teeth
