“She talks like you. It’s not every day you hear a four-year-old say Prince Charming is a douchebag who’s only holding Cinderella back.” "That’s my girl.”
―
Emma Chase,
Tangled
“For God's sake, don't let her watch Cinderella. What kind of example is that? A mindless twit who can't even remember where she left her damn shoe, so she has to wait for some douchebag in tights to bring it to her? Give me a frigging break!” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Mackenzie raises her hand proudly. “I have a bagina.” I smirk. “Yes, you do sweetheart. And someday, it’s gonna help you rule the world.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Women fall in love quicker than men. Easier and more often. But when guys fall? We go down harder. And when things go bad? When it's not us who ends it? We don't get to walk away.We crawl.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“It’s simple guy logic: If a woman is angry? It means she cares. If you’re in a relationship and a chick can’t even be bothered to yell at you? You’re screwed. Indifference is a woman’s kiss of death. It’s the equivalent of a man not interested in sex. In either case—it’s over. You’re done.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Newsflash, ladies: We can’t read your thoughts. And frankly, I’m not entirely sure I’d want to. The female mind is a scary place to be.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“You know on TV when there’s one of those awkward, shocking moments and all you hear are the crickets in the background?Well chirp fucking chirp...this is one of those moments.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“It makes me want to kiss her and strangle her at the same time. I’ve never been into S&M. But I’m beginning to see its benefits.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Edward Cullen can take his stupid heroine and OD on it. Kate is my own personal brand of Viagra.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“I BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW THIS, but lots of guys have a thing for Ariel. You know, from The Little Mermaid? I’ve never been into her myself, but I can understand the attraction: she fills out her shells nicely, she’s a redhead, and she spends most of the movie unable to speak. In light of this, I’m not too disturbed about the semi I’m sporting while watching Beauty and the Beast—part of the homework Erin gave me. I like Belle. She’s hot. Well…for a cartoon, anyway. She reminds me of Kate. She’s resourceful. Smart. And she doesn’t take any shit from the Beast or that douchebag with the freakishly large arms. I stare at the television as Belle bends over to feed a bird. Then I lean forward, hoping for a nice cleavage shot… I’m going to hell, aren’t I?” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“God. I may end up being the first man in history capable of masturbating without touching himself. Look, Mom—no hands.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Vaginas beat penises every time. They're like kryptonite.Penises are defenseless against them.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Fuck you!” She stalks back around my desk toward the door. “Here? Now?” I look up at the ceiling, like I’m debating the prospect. “Well…okay. But be gentle. My couch is a virgin.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Fine’s a funny word, don’t you think? I don’t think there’s another like it in the English language that says so much while actually saying so little.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“I don’t go to church. Not anymore. I’m a lot of things, but a hypocrite really isn’t one of them. If you’re not going to play by the rules, you don’t show up for team meetings.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“He moved his trunk-like manhood toward the weeping petals of her womanly center.'Who the f*ck talks like that?!” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“In that same year, NYU conducted its own study. With rats. They implanted electrodes in the brains of male rats and put two buttons in their cages. When the lucky little bastards pushed the blue button, the electrodes triggered an orgasm. When they pushed a red button, they were given food.Care to guess what happened to all the rats?They died.They fucking starved to death.They never pushed the red button.Need I say more?” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“There are three kinds of males in this world: boys, guys, and men. Boys – like Billy – never grow up, never get serious. They only care about themselves, their music, their cars. Guys – like you – are all about numbers and variety. Like an assembly line, it’s just one one-night stand after another. Then there are men – like Matthew. They’re not perfect, but they appreciate women for more than their flexibility and mouth suction.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“For God's sake, don't let her watch Cinderella. What kind of example is that? A mindless twit who can't even remember where she left her damn shoe, so she has to wait for some douchebag in tights to bring it to her? Give me a frigging break!” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Mackenzie raises her hand proudly. “I have a bagina.” I smirk. “Yes, you do sweetheart. And someday, it’s gonna help you rule the world.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Women fall in love quicker than men. Easier and more often. But when guys fall? We go down harder. And when things go bad? When it's not us who ends it? We don't get to walk away.We crawl.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“It’s simple guy logic: If a woman is angry? It means she cares. If you’re in a relationship and a chick can’t even be bothered to yell at you? You’re screwed. Indifference is a woman’s kiss of death. It’s the equivalent of a man not interested in sex. In either case—it’s over. You’re done.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Newsflash, ladies: We can’t read your thoughts. And frankly, I’m not entirely sure I’d want to. The female mind is a scary place to be.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“You know on TV when there’s one of those awkward, shocking moments and all you hear are the crickets in the background?Well chirp fucking chirp...this is one of those moments.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“It makes me want to kiss her and strangle her at the same time. I’ve never been into S&M. But I’m beginning to see its benefits.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Edward Cullen can take his stupid heroine and OD on it. Kate is my own personal brand of Viagra.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“I BET YOU DIDN’T KNOW THIS, but lots of guys have a thing for Ariel. You know, from The Little Mermaid? I’ve never been into her myself, but I can understand the attraction: she fills out her shells nicely, she’s a redhead, and she spends most of the movie unable to speak. In light of this, I’m not too disturbed about the semi I’m sporting while watching Beauty and the Beast—part of the homework Erin gave me. I like Belle. She’s hot. Well…for a cartoon, anyway. She reminds me of Kate. She’s resourceful. Smart. And she doesn’t take any shit from the Beast or that douchebag with the freakishly large arms. I stare at the television as Belle bends over to feed a bird. Then I lean forward, hoping for a nice cleavage shot… I’m going to hell, aren’t I?” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“God. I may end up being the first man in history capable of masturbating without touching himself. Look, Mom—no hands.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Vaginas beat penises every time. They're like kryptonite.Penises are defenseless against them.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Fuck you!” She stalks back around my desk toward the door. “Here? Now?” I look up at the ceiling, like I’m debating the prospect. “Well…okay. But be gentle. My couch is a virgin.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Fine’s a funny word, don’t you think? I don’t think there’s another like it in the English language that says so much while actually saying so little.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“I don’t go to church. Not anymore. I’m a lot of things, but a hypocrite really isn’t one of them. If you’re not going to play by the rules, you don’t show up for team meetings.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“He moved his trunk-like manhood toward the weeping petals of her womanly center.'Who the f*ck talks like that?!” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“In that same year, NYU conducted its own study. With rats. They implanted electrodes in the brains of male rats and put two buttons in their cages. When the lucky little bastards pushed the blue button, the electrodes triggered an orgasm. When they pushed a red button, they were given food.Care to guess what happened to all the rats?They died.They fucking starved to death.They never pushed the red button.Need I say more?” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“Don’t put off till tomorrow anyone you could be doing today.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
“There are three kinds of males in this world: boys, guys, and men. Boys – like Billy – never grow up, never get serious. They only care about themselves, their music, their cars. Guys – like you – are all about numbers and variety. Like an assembly line, it’s just one one-night stand after another. Then there are men – like Matthew. They’re not perfect, but they appreciate women for more than their flexibility and mouth suction.” ― Emma Chase, Tangled
