“Well, how interesting. Men are afraid of women being funnier than them, and women are afraid of, oh, I don’t know, being oppressed, beaten, raped, or killed by men. But look out! Funny chick here might follow you down an alley and make you chuckle without consent!”
―
Tarah Dewitt,
Funny Feelings
“Sushi arrives, and it’s not until halfway through the meal that I notice him using his fork to eat instead of the chopsticks. It’s also when I notice that he uses that fork with his opposite hand, so he can keep hold of mine with the other. It’s the best lunch of my life.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“Because when I’m not what works for people at that time in their lives, when I’m not a convenient version of me, I always manage to lose them.” ― Tarah Dewitt, The Co-op
“If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.Yakov Smirnoff” ― Tarah DeWitt, Funny Feelings
“I did. I think it goes without saying that while we’re doing this publicly, we uhhh, shouldn’t be dating other people.” “Aw. I’ll break the news to my harem.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“I've got you. Always.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“This book is dedicated to all the women who’ve ever been told that they’re Too Much.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“I like to keep people where I understand them. I typically choose to do that through charm. Keep them happy with you, but keep it surface level. Keep them just far enough so they stay in focus and I can see every move before it comes. Too close and they blur, too many things are easy to miss. When someone’s arms are wrapped around you it’s easy to miss the knife in their hands.” ― Tarah Dewitt, The Co-op
“I don’t know what I believe in as far as a higher power, Fee, but I know that I now believe that rainstorms always precede something amazing because you came into our lives on the tail end of one.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“When you have a bad day ma fille, think about it from beginning to end. Walk your way through it. Was it really a bad day, or was it a few bad moments? What part of your day would you like to hold onto before you close your eyes? Find that good bit, and let it be the thing you go to sleep to.” ― Tarah Dewitt, The Co-op
“If someone’s carrying your heart, shouldn’t you do them the courtesy of warning them? Like catching someone driving with a mug on top of their car. Hey, there! You probably need to stop, pull over and take care of that! At least slow down.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“I plan to savor this. You. And maybe I like the idea of making you wait for the rest.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.” - Bill Burr” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“She chews a supremely large bite of her burger with a moan, eyes closed, balloon hat askew, cheese and sauce on her chin. That’s mine, I think. She’s mine.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“I got the tattoo because I wanted to remember that feeling that you gave me the first time I met you. When you burst inside and demanded to make a connection. I wanted to remember to not be afraid of that, anymore. Even if it doesn’t look the same for everyone. Even if some people speak with their hands, some use a mic, or art, whatever. You did it with your friendship with us.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“I believe that jumping in puddles is better than any fancy party, and I believe that I’ll fight for your love, for the honor of loving you, every day, for the rest of our lives. Let me do that, Farley Jones, and I promise to make you the happiest woman for as long as you’ll have me.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“He sighs a little and looks over at me. “Humor me, Jones, and try not to start every sentence with some variation of ‘if this were real’. Because, fake girlfriend or not, I know you want something from each of them, and I’m all for sampling anything that sounds good right alongside you tonight.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.” - Rodney Dangerfield” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the furthest thing from it. Because cynics don't learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness: a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say 'no.' But saying 'yes' begins things. Saying 'yes' is how things grow.” - Stephen Colbert” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“Sushi arrives, and it’s not until halfway through the meal that I notice him using his fork to eat instead of the chopsticks. It’s also when I notice that he uses that fork with his opposite hand, so he can keep hold of mine with the other. It’s the best lunch of my life.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“Because when I’m not what works for people at that time in their lives, when I’m not a convenient version of me, I always manage to lose them.” ― Tarah Dewitt, The Co-op
“If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.Yakov Smirnoff” ― Tarah DeWitt, Funny Feelings
“I did. I think it goes without saying that while we’re doing this publicly, we uhhh, shouldn’t be dating other people.” “Aw. I’ll break the news to my harem.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“I've got you. Always.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“This book is dedicated to all the women who’ve ever been told that they’re Too Much.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“I like to keep people where I understand them. I typically choose to do that through charm. Keep them happy with you, but keep it surface level. Keep them just far enough so they stay in focus and I can see every move before it comes. Too close and they blur, too many things are easy to miss. When someone’s arms are wrapped around you it’s easy to miss the knife in their hands.” ― Tarah Dewitt, The Co-op
“I don’t know what I believe in as far as a higher power, Fee, but I know that I now believe that rainstorms always precede something amazing because you came into our lives on the tail end of one.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“When you have a bad day ma fille, think about it from beginning to end. Walk your way through it. Was it really a bad day, or was it a few bad moments? What part of your day would you like to hold onto before you close your eyes? Find that good bit, and let it be the thing you go to sleep to.” ― Tarah Dewitt, The Co-op
“If someone’s carrying your heart, shouldn’t you do them the courtesy of warning them? Like catching someone driving with a mug on top of their car. Hey, there! You probably need to stop, pull over and take care of that! At least slow down.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“I plan to savor this. You. And maybe I like the idea of making you wait for the rest.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.” - Bill Burr” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“She chews a supremely large bite of her burger with a moan, eyes closed, balloon hat askew, cheese and sauce on her chin. That’s mine, I think. She’s mine.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“I got the tattoo because I wanted to remember that feeling that you gave me the first time I met you. When you burst inside and demanded to make a connection. I wanted to remember to not be afraid of that, anymore. Even if it doesn’t look the same for everyone. Even if some people speak with their hands, some use a mic, or art, whatever. You did it with your friendship with us.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“I believe that jumping in puddles is better than any fancy party, and I believe that I’ll fight for your love, for the honor of loving you, every day, for the rest of our lives. Let me do that, Farley Jones, and I promise to make you the happiest woman for as long as you’ll have me.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“He sighs a little and looks over at me. “Humor me, Jones, and try not to start every sentence with some variation of ‘if this were real’. Because, fake girlfriend or not, I know you want something from each of them, and I’m all for sampling anything that sounds good right alongside you tonight.” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.” - Rodney Dangerfield” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
“Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the furthest thing from it. Because cynics don't learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness: a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say 'no.' But saying 'yes' begins things. Saying 'yes' is how things grow.” - Stephen Colbert” ― Tarah Dewitt, Funny Feelings
