“I was consumed by some kind of unholy, indignant rage that propelled me through the confrontation to its successful conclusion - and out the other side into the cool, calm lagoon of reflective dread known as the ‘what the fuck have I just done?’ feeling.”
―
Nick Spalding,
Love... From Both Sides
“No relationship is ever perfect, but when you truly love each other ... it doesn't have to be.” ― Nick Spalding, Love... From Both Sides
“I have no idea why this is. I’m sure somebody with a beard and too much time on their hands would say it has something to do with sex - but they’ll say that about anything.” ― Nick Spalding, Love... From Both Sides
“I am British, however, so I do the only thing I possibly can at a moment such as this. I go home and put the kettle on.” ― Nick Spalding, Checking Out
“It’s Pat The Cow, she’s Pat The Cow, If you’re in trouble, she’ll come right now. She catches thieves, she catches thugs, She’ll tell your dad if you grow drugs.” ― Nick Spalding, Bricking It
“I am not my mother, I am not my mother, I repeat silently to myself. Of course, the minute you start saying that to yourself is the instant you have in fact become your mother,” ― Nick Spalding, Mad Love
“My self-delusion at this point is so rock-solid you could climb up it and plant a flag.” ― Nick Spalding, Fat Chance
“Are you a couple? Are you a FAT couple? Would you like to win £ 50,000? WE want to hear from YOU! Stream FM is looking for six overweight couples between the ages of 25 and 65 to take part in our fabulous new competition: ‘FAT CHANCE!’ Over a six-month period, we’ll find out which couple can lose the” ― Nick Spalding, Fat Chance
“I truly believe that if you can laugh at past mistakes or current difficulties, it can make the shadows they cast in your life just a bit smaller.” ― Nick Spalding, Life... With No Breaks
“One woman, a petite Oriental girl, gives me a toothy grin. ‘Hello to you! I’m Lolly! This first time?’ she says in that clipped efficient manner Asians have when English isn’t their first language. ‘Yes,’ I reply. ‘Ah . . . good! Good!’ she turns to a white guy in his fifties standing next to her. ‘They like us two week ago Brian!’ ‘Looks like it,’ Brian replies. The dynamic between the two of them is fairly obvious. I have to wonder whether he paid for her up-front or on inspection of the goods at the airport. ‘Why” ― Nick Spalding, Love... And Sleepless Nights
“How on earth can we ever expect our society to get thinner when no-one is making any effort to make the healthy food cheaper than the toxic, fatty stuff that’s creating a nation of tubby fuckers with too many fillings? The” ― Nick Spalding, Fat Chance
“You might discuss important philosophical topics, such as the nature of existence- or what a bunch of lying toe rags politicians are.” ― Nick Spalding, The Cornerstone
“I'm standing on a gigantic book, floating in space...I will never need to take drugs in my entire life!” ― Nick Spalding, The Cornerstone
“The second she touched it, the blue screen of death appeared, along with that dissonant gank noise Windows makes when it decides the stress of existence has become too much and commits electronic suicide.” ― Nick Spalding, The Cornerstone
“Technology has a way of regimenting your existence, which only becomes truly apparent once you have to do without it. It’s almost as if all that reliance on computers starts to turn you into a bit of a computer yourself.” ― Nick Spalding, Logging Off
“Okay, this conversation has now officially gone so far off the beaten path I’m going to need a satnav and survival rations.” ― Nick Spalding, Bricking It
“All the good things I have done to this point, I owe to you. All the bad things, I owe to the consumption of too much white wine.” ― Nick Spalding, Love…From Both Sides
“Some things just aren’t meant to be examined and fretted over until they make sense. Some things are just meant to happen. Some things are just meant to be.” ― Nick Spalding, Dumped, Actually
“I lent against a nearby wall,” ― Nick Spalding, I, Zombie
“No relationship is ever perfect, but when you truly love each other ... it doesn't have to be.” ― Nick Spalding, Love... From Both Sides
“I have no idea why this is. I’m sure somebody with a beard and too much time on their hands would say it has something to do with sex - but they’ll say that about anything.” ― Nick Spalding, Love... From Both Sides
“I am British, however, so I do the only thing I possibly can at a moment such as this. I go home and put the kettle on.” ― Nick Spalding, Checking Out
“It’s Pat The Cow, she’s Pat The Cow, If you’re in trouble, she’ll come right now. She catches thieves, she catches thugs, She’ll tell your dad if you grow drugs.” ― Nick Spalding, Bricking It
“I am not my mother, I am not my mother, I repeat silently to myself. Of course, the minute you start saying that to yourself is the instant you have in fact become your mother,” ― Nick Spalding, Mad Love
“My self-delusion at this point is so rock-solid you could climb up it and plant a flag.” ― Nick Spalding, Fat Chance
“Are you a couple? Are you a FAT couple? Would you like to win £ 50,000? WE want to hear from YOU! Stream FM is looking for six overweight couples between the ages of 25 and 65 to take part in our fabulous new competition: ‘FAT CHANCE!’ Over a six-month period, we’ll find out which couple can lose the” ― Nick Spalding, Fat Chance
“I truly believe that if you can laugh at past mistakes or current difficulties, it can make the shadows they cast in your life just a bit smaller.” ― Nick Spalding, Life... With No Breaks
“One woman, a petite Oriental girl, gives me a toothy grin. ‘Hello to you! I’m Lolly! This first time?’ she says in that clipped efficient manner Asians have when English isn’t their first language. ‘Yes,’ I reply. ‘Ah . . . good! Good!’ she turns to a white guy in his fifties standing next to her. ‘They like us two week ago Brian!’ ‘Looks like it,’ Brian replies. The dynamic between the two of them is fairly obvious. I have to wonder whether he paid for her up-front or on inspection of the goods at the airport. ‘Why” ― Nick Spalding, Love... And Sleepless Nights
“How on earth can we ever expect our society to get thinner when no-one is making any effort to make the healthy food cheaper than the toxic, fatty stuff that’s creating a nation of tubby fuckers with too many fillings? The” ― Nick Spalding, Fat Chance
“You might discuss important philosophical topics, such as the nature of existence- or what a bunch of lying toe rags politicians are.” ― Nick Spalding, The Cornerstone
“I'm standing on a gigantic book, floating in space...I will never need to take drugs in my entire life!” ― Nick Spalding, The Cornerstone
“The second she touched it, the blue screen of death appeared, along with that dissonant gank noise Windows makes when it decides the stress of existence has become too much and commits electronic suicide.” ― Nick Spalding, The Cornerstone
“Technology has a way of regimenting your existence, which only becomes truly apparent once you have to do without it. It’s almost as if all that reliance on computers starts to turn you into a bit of a computer yourself.” ― Nick Spalding, Logging Off
“Okay, this conversation has now officially gone so far off the beaten path I’m going to need a satnav and survival rations.” ― Nick Spalding, Bricking It
“All the good things I have done to this point, I owe to you. All the bad things, I owe to the consumption of too much white wine.” ― Nick Spalding, Love…From Both Sides
“Some things just aren’t meant to be examined and fretted over until they make sense. Some things are just meant to happen. Some things are just meant to be.” ― Nick Spalding, Dumped, Actually
“I lent against a nearby wall,” ― Nick Spalding, I, Zombie
