“And the beasts of the earth and the birds looked down,In a wild solemnity,On a stranger sight than a sylph or elf,On one man laughing at himselfUnder the greenwood tree-The giant laughter of Christian menThat roars through a thousand tales,Where greed is an ape and pride is an ass,And Jack's away with his master's lass,And the miser is banged with all his brass,The farmer with all his flails;Tales that tumble and tales that trick, Yet end not all in scorning-Of kings and clowns in a merry plight,And the clock gone wrong and the world gone right,That the mummers sing upon Christmas nightAnd Christmas day in the morning.”
―
G.K. Chesterton,
The Ballad of the White Horse
“We are under a deception similar to that which misleads the traveler in the Arabian desert. Beneath the caravan all is dry and bare; but far in advance, and far in the rear, is the semblance of refreshing waters... A similar illusion seems to haunt nations through every stage of the long progress from poverty and barbarism to the highest degrees of opulence and civilization. But if we resolutely chase the mirage backward, we shall find it recede before us into the regions of fabulous antiquity. It is now the fashion to place the golden age of England in times when noblemen were destitute of comforts the want of which would be intolerable to a modern footman, when farmers and shopkeepers breakfasted on loaves the very sight of which would raise a riot in a modern workhouse, when to have a clean shirt once a week was a privilege reserved for the higher class of gentry, when men died faster in the purest country air than they now die in the most pestilential lanes of our towns, and when men died faster in the lanes of our towns than they now die on the coast of Guiana....We too shall in our turn be outstripped, and in our turn be envied. It may well be, in the twentieth century, that the peasant of Dorsetshire may think himself miserably paid with twenty shillings a week; that the carpenter at Greenwich may receive ten shillings a day; that laboring men may be as little used to dine without meat as they are now to eat rye bread; that sanitary police and medical discoveries may have added several more years to the average length of human life; that numerous comforts and luxuries which are now unknown, or confined to a few, may be within the reach of every diligent and thrifty workingman. And yet it may then be the mode to assert that the increase of wealth and the progress of science have benefited the few at the expense of the many, and to talk of the reign of Queen Victoria as the time when England was truly merry England, when all classes were bound together by brotherly sympathy, when the rich did not grind the faces of the poor, and when the poor did not envy the splendor of the rich.” ― Thomas Babington Macaulay, The History of England
“The cheese stands aloneThe cheese stands aloneHeigh-ho the merry-oThe cheese stands alone” ― Robert Cormier - i Adam Farmer i
“The shriek that erupted from Melinda was loud enough to wake the dead. “Get it off me, get it off me!” She bolted from the crumpled side of the tent in hysterics, ripping at her bodice.” ― Merry Farmer, His Remarkable Bride
“Grandpa had been a farmer and lived contentedly on the old place until he died, but his four sons wanted to be something better, so they went away one after the other to make their way in the world. All worked hard, earned a good living, and forgot, as far as possible, the dull lives they had led in the old place from which they had come. They were all good sons in their own way and had each offered his mother a home with him if she cared to come. But Grandma clung to the old home, the simple ways, and the quiet life. She thanked them gratefully, but chose to remain in the big farmhouse, empty, lonely, and plain though it was compared to the fine homes in which her sons lived.” ― Louisa May Alcott, A Merry Christmas: And Other Christmas Stories
“more than just an irritation.” ― Merry Farmer, Trail of Kisses
“his back in the jostling wagon bed. He laughed” ― Merry Farmer, Trail of Kisses
“He couldn’t shake the feeling that Blake was the sort of man who lived so deeply in denial about so many things, covering that denial with the veneer of a genial man, that he was no longer aware of any sort of truth at all.” ― Merry Farmer, Just a Little Danger
“No alumnus of the Class of ’73 would ever forget that electric moment when Thorkjeld Svenson in his Commencement remarks clove a solid oak podium neatly in twain from top to base as he slammed down his fist to emphasize those deathless words, “Agri isn’t a business, it’s a culture!” As a farmer’s highest calling was to serve the earth, but to be merry withal in his labor, so was a hog entitled to its wallow in good, soft mud and a cow to its cud of sweet, fresh grass beneath a shady tree before each fulfilled its ultimate destiny. No fowl went from incubator to coop to stewpot without ever once getting its claws in real dirt to scratch up its own worms.” ― Charlotte MacLeod, The Luck Runs Out
“You may think me as foolish as you’d like, but two days was all it took for me to recognize my heart’s true home.” ― Merry Farmer, The Sinner's Gamble
“father’s approval,” ― Merry Farmer, Just a Little Wickedness
“I wanted to be in love with Sascha, I just didn’t know if I could afford to be.” ― Merry Farmer, Peter and the Wolves
“Let people try to tell her she was dreaming now. Let them say that teachers couldn’t rent stunning mansions for an entire summer. She’d shown them. After two decades, Sand Dollar Point was hers. At least it was for the next” ― Merry Farmer, Summer with a Star
“I don’t know how you became leader of a pack, but it wasn’t because of your ability to make hard decisions.” ― Merry Farmer, Peter and the Wolves
“A city doctor moved to the country to become a farmer. He figured, “Since I’m going to have a farm, I might as well have animals on it.” So he got in his truck to go looking for animals. Along the way, he spotted a sign saying, “Cocks 4 Sale.” He pulled over and asked the farmer what a cock was. “A cock is a rooster,” the farmer replied. So the doctor bought a cock and put it in the back of his truck. The doctor continued on his way until he saw a sign saying, “Pullets 4 Sale.” He pulled over and asked the farmer what a pullet was. “A pullet is a hen,” the farmer replied. “But sometimes a cock and a pullet will fight, so watch out.” The doctor thanked the farmer and went on his merry way. Down the road a bit, there was another sign saying, “Asses 4 Sale.” So the doctor pulled over again to ask about it. “An ass is a donkey,” the farmer told him. “But watch out, because this donkey is different. If he gets scared, he’ll sit down and won’t move until you scratch his belly.” The doctor thanked the farmer and turned around to head home. In the road was a broken bottle and the doctor ran his truck right over it. Pop!!! The sound made the cock and pullet start to fight, and the donkey sat on the spare tire. A lady just happened to be passing by and asked if the doctor needed help. The doctor, wanting to sound like a professional farmer, replied, “Yes, I need help. Will you please hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?” ― Barry Dougherty, Friars Club Private Joke File: More Than 2,000 Very Naughty Jokes from the Grand Masters of Comedy
“It had the worn out look of a chorus girl who had danced her feet off during the main show and was now catching her breath, getting ready to do the whole thing over again soon.” ― Merry Farmer, Just a Little Heartache
“Magnus. My balls are about to fall off if I don’t find release,” I growled at him.” ― Merry Farmer, Peter and the River
“changed about Summerbury since the summers she’d spent there as a child. The tiny seaside town was still adorable. She had to inch her way through Main Street to avoid shopping tourists and locals catching up with their seasonal neighbors. Summerbury’s economy” ― Merry Farmer, Summer with a Star
“I knew I could no more change who I was than I could change the stars in the sky, and I’d grown accustomed to my differences.” ― Merry Farmer, Peter and the Wolves
“We are under a deception similar to that which misleads the traveler in the Arabian desert. Beneath the caravan all is dry and bare; but far in advance, and far in the rear, is the semblance of refreshing waters... A similar illusion seems to haunt nations through every stage of the long progress from poverty and barbarism to the highest degrees of opulence and civilization. But if we resolutely chase the mirage backward, we shall find it recede before us into the regions of fabulous antiquity. It is now the fashion to place the golden age of England in times when noblemen were destitute of comforts the want of which would be intolerable to a modern footman, when farmers and shopkeepers breakfasted on loaves the very sight of which would raise a riot in a modern workhouse, when to have a clean shirt once a week was a privilege reserved for the higher class of gentry, when men died faster in the purest country air than they now die in the most pestilential lanes of our towns, and when men died faster in the lanes of our towns than they now die on the coast of Guiana....We too shall in our turn be outstripped, and in our turn be envied. It may well be, in the twentieth century, that the peasant of Dorsetshire may think himself miserably paid with twenty shillings a week; that the carpenter at Greenwich may receive ten shillings a day; that laboring men may be as little used to dine without meat as they are now to eat rye bread; that sanitary police and medical discoveries may have added several more years to the average length of human life; that numerous comforts and luxuries which are now unknown, or confined to a few, may be within the reach of every diligent and thrifty workingman. And yet it may then be the mode to assert that the increase of wealth and the progress of science have benefited the few at the expense of the many, and to talk of the reign of Queen Victoria as the time when England was truly merry England, when all classes were bound together by brotherly sympathy, when the rich did not grind the faces of the poor, and when the poor did not envy the splendor of the rich.” ― Thomas Babington Macaulay, The History of England
“The cheese stands aloneThe cheese stands aloneHeigh-ho the merry-oThe cheese stands alone” ― Robert Cormier - i Adam Farmer i
“The shriek that erupted from Melinda was loud enough to wake the dead. “Get it off me, get it off me!” She bolted from the crumpled side of the tent in hysterics, ripping at her bodice.” ― Merry Farmer, His Remarkable Bride
“Grandpa had been a farmer and lived contentedly on the old place until he died, but his four sons wanted to be something better, so they went away one after the other to make their way in the world. All worked hard, earned a good living, and forgot, as far as possible, the dull lives they had led in the old place from which they had come. They were all good sons in their own way and had each offered his mother a home with him if she cared to come. But Grandma clung to the old home, the simple ways, and the quiet life. She thanked them gratefully, but chose to remain in the big farmhouse, empty, lonely, and plain though it was compared to the fine homes in which her sons lived.” ― Louisa May Alcott, A Merry Christmas: And Other Christmas Stories
“more than just an irritation.” ― Merry Farmer, Trail of Kisses
“his back in the jostling wagon bed. He laughed” ― Merry Farmer, Trail of Kisses
“He couldn’t shake the feeling that Blake was the sort of man who lived so deeply in denial about so many things, covering that denial with the veneer of a genial man, that he was no longer aware of any sort of truth at all.” ― Merry Farmer, Just a Little Danger
“No alumnus of the Class of ’73 would ever forget that electric moment when Thorkjeld Svenson in his Commencement remarks clove a solid oak podium neatly in twain from top to base as he slammed down his fist to emphasize those deathless words, “Agri isn’t a business, it’s a culture!” As a farmer’s highest calling was to serve the earth, but to be merry withal in his labor, so was a hog entitled to its wallow in good, soft mud and a cow to its cud of sweet, fresh grass beneath a shady tree before each fulfilled its ultimate destiny. No fowl went from incubator to coop to stewpot without ever once getting its claws in real dirt to scratch up its own worms.” ― Charlotte MacLeod, The Luck Runs Out
“You may think me as foolish as you’d like, but two days was all it took for me to recognize my heart’s true home.” ― Merry Farmer, The Sinner's Gamble
“father’s approval,” ― Merry Farmer, Just a Little Wickedness
“I wanted to be in love with Sascha, I just didn’t know if I could afford to be.” ― Merry Farmer, Peter and the Wolves
“Let people try to tell her she was dreaming now. Let them say that teachers couldn’t rent stunning mansions for an entire summer. She’d shown them. After two decades, Sand Dollar Point was hers. At least it was for the next” ― Merry Farmer, Summer with a Star
“I don’t know how you became leader of a pack, but it wasn’t because of your ability to make hard decisions.” ― Merry Farmer, Peter and the Wolves
“A city doctor moved to the country to become a farmer. He figured, “Since I’m going to have a farm, I might as well have animals on it.” So he got in his truck to go looking for animals. Along the way, he spotted a sign saying, “Cocks 4 Sale.” He pulled over and asked the farmer what a cock was. “A cock is a rooster,” the farmer replied. So the doctor bought a cock and put it in the back of his truck. The doctor continued on his way until he saw a sign saying, “Pullets 4 Sale.” He pulled over and asked the farmer what a pullet was. “A pullet is a hen,” the farmer replied. “But sometimes a cock and a pullet will fight, so watch out.” The doctor thanked the farmer and went on his merry way. Down the road a bit, there was another sign saying, “Asses 4 Sale.” So the doctor pulled over again to ask about it. “An ass is a donkey,” the farmer told him. “But watch out, because this donkey is different. If he gets scared, he’ll sit down and won’t move until you scratch his belly.” The doctor thanked the farmer and turned around to head home. In the road was a broken bottle and the doctor ran his truck right over it. Pop!!! The sound made the cock and pullet start to fight, and the donkey sat on the spare tire. A lady just happened to be passing by and asked if the doctor needed help. The doctor, wanting to sound like a professional farmer, replied, “Yes, I need help. Will you please hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass?” ― Barry Dougherty, Friars Club Private Joke File: More Than 2,000 Very Naughty Jokes from the Grand Masters of Comedy
“It had the worn out look of a chorus girl who had danced her feet off during the main show and was now catching her breath, getting ready to do the whole thing over again soon.” ― Merry Farmer, Just a Little Heartache
“Magnus. My balls are about to fall off if I don’t find release,” I growled at him.” ― Merry Farmer, Peter and the River
“changed about Summerbury since the summers she’d spent there as a child. The tiny seaside town was still adorable. She had to inch her way through Main Street to avoid shopping tourists and locals catching up with their seasonal neighbors. Summerbury’s economy” ― Merry Farmer, Summer with a Star
“I knew I could no more change who I was than I could change the stars in the sky, and I’d grown accustomed to my differences.” ― Merry Farmer, Peter and the Wolves
