“If it isn’t Charley”
―
Marcus Emerson,
My Worst Frenemy
“How many did you eat?” I asked. “Eight,” Slug answered, breathing heavily. “Eight quesadilla triangles?” I said, grossed out. Slug shook his head. “No… eight full quesadillas,” he said, again pronouncing it wrong. “Dude,” I said, my jaw dropping to the floor. “That’s, like, um… four times eight… thirty four slices!” Naomi quickly corrected me. “Thirty two slices.” “Thirty two slices!” I repeated. “This kid can pack ‘em away!” Wyatt said, bringing another plate of quesadillas to the group. “Gidgy…” Slug said, reaching for his twin sister, who was scooting away from his greasy fingers. “I might need a stomach transplant after this.” “Gross,” she said. “Don’t touch me. And stomach transplants aren’t a real thing.” “Giiiiidgy!” Slug groaned. “We’re twins! Your stomach is an exact match for mine! Only you can save me! I only need half of it. The other half’ll grow back!” “Dude,” Gidget said, raising an eyebrow. “You can’t have my stomach.” “But what if I need it?” Slug whined, sliding lower in his chair. “You’re just gonna—” And then Slug let out the grossest burp I’d ever heard in my life. It was loud, and it was bad. Like, my eyes started watering. Slug instantly sat up in his seat with a smile beaming across his face. “All better,” he said, reaching for another quesadilla on Wyatt’s plate. “Mmmm, gimme, gimme, gimme!” ― Marcus Emerson, My Worst Frenemy
“As we stepped out of the gym doors, the sun poured across the school parking lot like a hot wet blanket.” ― Marcus Emerson, Diary of a Sixth Grade Ninja
“be cool to everyone, all the time, because everyone needs it even if it doesn’t seem like they do.” ― Marcus Emerson, Spirit Week Shenanigans
“Three kids against five robotic school helpers. Well, four kids. Beck was still in the air vent under locker G42. His Tenderfoot Shell waited patiently, standing in place at the middle of the dead-end corridor in the girls’ locker room. One of the five SPUDs that had us cornered leapt through the air at Bloom. The world around me came to a standstill, like someone had paused a game. I saw Bloom. I saw the SPUD jumping toward her. I saw Lexi, huddled up and afraid. I don’t know what happened to me in that split-second, but I reacted before I even had time to think about it. Balling a tight fist, I threw my hand into the air in front of the SPUD that was going for Bloom. My right forearm scraped against the small robot’s face, and then my elbow shot forward, landing a blow right on the SPUD’s body, sending his arms and legs flying in all directions.” ― Marcus Emerson, Legacy
“You’re cutting it close.” “That doesn’t even make sense,” she replied. “Think about it for a minute, and it will,” I said. Zoe’s eyes darted back and forth and the gears in her head clearly cranked. In the time it took her to think, I sat in the seat behind her. Finally she turned around. “I still don’t get it,” she said. Poor Zoe. That was the joke,” ― Marcus Emerson, Diary of a Sixth Grade Ninja
“In dodge ball, the word for “hello” is “PONG!” along with a searing pain. I wouldn’t recommend visiting the land of dodge ball. Tis a silly place.” ― Marcus Emerson, Spirit Week Shenanigans
“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you… the perfect excuse.” ― Marcus Emerson, Kid Youtuber 5: You're Welcome (a hilarious adventure for children ages 9-12): From the Creator of Diary of a 6th Grade Ninja
“I’m not the most popular kid in school, that’s for sure. I’ve never had a girlfriend, and I’ve never played sports outside of gym class. That’s not true – I was on a soccer team in third grade, but after a shin guard to the face and a broken nose, I quit.” ― Marcus Emerson, Diary of a Sixth Grade Ninja
“Brody Valentine WILL return in Secret Agent 6th Grader 5!” ― Marcus Emerson, Selfies Are Forever
“I’ll be a god among children.” ― Marcus Emerson, Dodge Ball Wars: 5 Book Box Set Collection (a hilarious adventure for children ages 9-12): From the Creator of Diary of a 6th Grade Ninja
“Grandma always said, “Make sure you’re wearing clean underwear just in case you have to sacrifice yourself realigning an FTL drive in outer space someday!” ― Marcus Emerson, Kid Youtuber 6: Sorry, Not Sorry (a hilarious adventure for children ages 9-12): From the Creator of Diary of a 6th Grade Ninja
“daydreaming.” ― Marcus Emerson, Scavengers
“Maddie held out her phone and nuzzled her face against my mine. I couldn’t complain.” ― Marcus Emerson, Selfies Are Forever
“Hashtag, fried bread. Hashtag, foodie. Hashtag, weirdo employee.” ― Marcus Emerson, Selfies Are Forever
“Typical Max… always the bully, never the bullied,” Dylan replied.” ― Marcus Emerson, Dodge Ball Wars: 5 Book Box Set Collection (a hilarious adventure for children ages 9-12): From the Creator of Diary of a 6th Grade Ninja
“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,” Emerson said, “adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.” ― Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living: Featuring new translations of Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius
“mushrooms” ― Marcus Emerson, Buchanan Bandits!
“hair and a pale complexion that would make a vampire jealous. He kind of looked like a porcelain doll. “Has anyone tried to be his friend?” “Actually,” ― Marcus Emerson, Diary of a Sixth Grade Ninja
“How many did you eat?” I asked. “Eight,” Slug answered, breathing heavily. “Eight quesadilla triangles?” I said, grossed out. Slug shook his head. “No… eight full quesadillas,” he said, again pronouncing it wrong. “Dude,” I said, my jaw dropping to the floor. “That’s, like, um… four times eight… thirty four slices!” Naomi quickly corrected me. “Thirty two slices.” “Thirty two slices!” I repeated. “This kid can pack ‘em away!” Wyatt said, bringing another plate of quesadillas to the group. “Gidgy…” Slug said, reaching for his twin sister, who was scooting away from his greasy fingers. “I might need a stomach transplant after this.” “Gross,” she said. “Don’t touch me. And stomach transplants aren’t a real thing.” “Giiiiidgy!” Slug groaned. “We’re twins! Your stomach is an exact match for mine! Only you can save me! I only need half of it. The other half’ll grow back!” “Dude,” Gidget said, raising an eyebrow. “You can’t have my stomach.” “But what if I need it?” Slug whined, sliding lower in his chair. “You’re just gonna—” And then Slug let out the grossest burp I’d ever heard in my life. It was loud, and it was bad. Like, my eyes started watering. Slug instantly sat up in his seat with a smile beaming across his face. “All better,” he said, reaching for another quesadilla on Wyatt’s plate. “Mmmm, gimme, gimme, gimme!” ― Marcus Emerson, My Worst Frenemy
“As we stepped out of the gym doors, the sun poured across the school parking lot like a hot wet blanket.” ― Marcus Emerson, Diary of a Sixth Grade Ninja
“be cool to everyone, all the time, because everyone needs it even if it doesn’t seem like they do.” ― Marcus Emerson, Spirit Week Shenanigans
“Three kids against five robotic school helpers. Well, four kids. Beck was still in the air vent under locker G42. His Tenderfoot Shell waited patiently, standing in place at the middle of the dead-end corridor in the girls’ locker room. One of the five SPUDs that had us cornered leapt through the air at Bloom. The world around me came to a standstill, like someone had paused a game. I saw Bloom. I saw the SPUD jumping toward her. I saw Lexi, huddled up and afraid. I don’t know what happened to me in that split-second, but I reacted before I even had time to think about it. Balling a tight fist, I threw my hand into the air in front of the SPUD that was going for Bloom. My right forearm scraped against the small robot’s face, and then my elbow shot forward, landing a blow right on the SPUD’s body, sending his arms and legs flying in all directions.” ― Marcus Emerson, Legacy
“You’re cutting it close.” “That doesn’t even make sense,” she replied. “Think about it for a minute, and it will,” I said. Zoe’s eyes darted back and forth and the gears in her head clearly cranked. In the time it took her to think, I sat in the seat behind her. Finally she turned around. “I still don’t get it,” she said. Poor Zoe. That was the joke,” ― Marcus Emerson, Diary of a Sixth Grade Ninja
“In dodge ball, the word for “hello” is “PONG!” along with a searing pain. I wouldn’t recommend visiting the land of dodge ball. Tis a silly place.” ― Marcus Emerson, Spirit Week Shenanigans
“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you… the perfect excuse.” ― Marcus Emerson, Kid Youtuber 5: You're Welcome (a hilarious adventure for children ages 9-12): From the Creator of Diary of a 6th Grade Ninja
“I’m not the most popular kid in school, that’s for sure. I’ve never had a girlfriend, and I’ve never played sports outside of gym class. That’s not true – I was on a soccer team in third grade, but after a shin guard to the face and a broken nose, I quit.” ― Marcus Emerson, Diary of a Sixth Grade Ninja
“Brody Valentine WILL return in Secret Agent 6th Grader 5!” ― Marcus Emerson, Selfies Are Forever
“I’ll be a god among children.” ― Marcus Emerson, Dodge Ball Wars: 5 Book Box Set Collection (a hilarious adventure for children ages 9-12): From the Creator of Diary of a 6th Grade Ninja
“Grandma always said, “Make sure you’re wearing clean underwear just in case you have to sacrifice yourself realigning an FTL drive in outer space someday!” ― Marcus Emerson, Kid Youtuber 6: Sorry, Not Sorry (a hilarious adventure for children ages 9-12): From the Creator of Diary of a 6th Grade Ninja
“daydreaming.” ― Marcus Emerson, Scavengers
“Maddie held out her phone and nuzzled her face against my mine. I couldn’t complain.” ― Marcus Emerson, Selfies Are Forever
“Hashtag, fried bread. Hashtag, foodie. Hashtag, weirdo employee.” ― Marcus Emerson, Selfies Are Forever
“Typical Max… always the bully, never the bullied,” Dylan replied.” ― Marcus Emerson, Dodge Ball Wars: 5 Book Box Set Collection (a hilarious adventure for children ages 9-12): From the Creator of Diary of a 6th Grade Ninja
“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,” Emerson said, “adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.” ― Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living: Featuring new translations of Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius
“mushrooms” ― Marcus Emerson, Buchanan Bandits!
“hair and a pale complexion that would make a vampire jealous. He kind of looked like a porcelain doll. “Has anyone tried to be his friend?” “Actually,” ― Marcus Emerson, Diary of a Sixth Grade Ninja
