“I can’t lose the thing I’ve held onto for so long, you know?” My face twists up from the pain of pushing it out. “I just really need it to be a love story, you know? I really, really need it to be that.”“I know,” she says.“Because if it isn’t a love story, then what is it”? I look to her glassy eyes, her face of wide open empathy. “It’s my life,” I say. “This has been my whole life.”
―
Kate Elizabeth Russell,
My Dark Vanessa
“People will risk everything for a little bit of something beautiful.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“The excuses we make for them are outrageous, but they’re nothing compared with the ones we make for ourselves.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“Because even if I sometimes use the word abuse to describe certain things that were done to me, in someone else’s mouth the word turns ugly and absolute. It swallows up everything that happened.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“Somehow I sensed what was coming for me even then. Really, though, what girl doesn’t? It looms over you, that threat of violence. They drill the danger into your head until it starts to feel inevitable. You grow up wondering when it’s finally going to happen.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“It’s strange to know that whenever I remember myself at fifteen, I’ll think of this.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“I wonder how much victimhood they’d be willing to grant a girl like me.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“I need it to be a love story. I need it to be that.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“Sometimes it feels like that’s all I’m doing every time I reach out—trying to haunt, to drag him back in time, asking him to tell me again what happened. Make me understand it once and for all. Because I’m still stuck here. I can’t move on.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“To be groomed is to be loved and handled like a precious, delicate thing” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“It's both creepy and out of my control, this ability I have to notice so much about other people when I'm positive no one notices anything at all about me.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“She didn't understand the horror of watching your body star in something your mind didn't agree to.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“How much strength does it take to hurt a little girl? How much strength does it take for the girl to get over it? Which one of them do you think is stronger?” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“He touched me first, said he wanted to kiss me, told me he loved me. Every first step was taken by him. I don’t feel forced, and I know I have the power to say no, but that isn’t the same as being in charge. But maybe he has to believe that. Maybe there’s a whole list of things he has to believe.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“Kneeling before me, he lays his head on my lap and says, ‘I’m going to ruin you.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“Hide all you want, but the truth will always find you.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“He's always going to be old. He has to be. That's the only way I can stay young and dripping with beauty.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“Girls in those stories are always victims, and I am not. And it doesn’t have anything to do with what Strane did or didn’t do to me when I was younger. I’m not a victim because I never wanted to be, and If I didn’t want to be, then I’m not. That’s how it works. The difference between rape and sex is state of mind. You can’t rape the willing, right?” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“I'm a speckled seal swimming past the breakers, a seabird with a wingspan so long I can fly for miles. I'm the new moon, hidden and safe from him, from everyone.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“People will risk everything for a little bit of something beautiful.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“The excuses we make for them are outrageous, but they’re nothing compared with the ones we make for ourselves.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“Because even if I sometimes use the word abuse to describe certain things that were done to me, in someone else’s mouth the word turns ugly and absolute. It swallows up everything that happened.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“Somehow I sensed what was coming for me even then. Really, though, what girl doesn’t? It looms over you, that threat of violence. They drill the danger into your head until it starts to feel inevitable. You grow up wondering when it’s finally going to happen.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“It’s strange to know that whenever I remember myself at fifteen, I’ll think of this.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“I wonder how much victimhood they’d be willing to grant a girl like me.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“I need it to be a love story. I need it to be that.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“Sometimes it feels like that’s all I’m doing every time I reach out—trying to haunt, to drag him back in time, asking him to tell me again what happened. Make me understand it once and for all. Because I’m still stuck here. I can’t move on.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“To be groomed is to be loved and handled like a precious, delicate thing” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“It's both creepy and out of my control, this ability I have to notice so much about other people when I'm positive no one notices anything at all about me.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“She didn't understand the horror of watching your body star in something your mind didn't agree to.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“How much strength does it take to hurt a little girl? How much strength does it take for the girl to get over it? Which one of them do you think is stronger?” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“He touched me first, said he wanted to kiss me, told me he loved me. Every first step was taken by him. I don’t feel forced, and I know I have the power to say no, but that isn’t the same as being in charge. But maybe he has to believe that. Maybe there’s a whole list of things he has to believe.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“Kneeling before me, he lays his head on my lap and says, ‘I’m going to ruin you.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“Hide all you want, but the truth will always find you.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“He's always going to be old. He has to be. That's the only way I can stay young and dripping with beauty.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“Girls in those stories are always victims, and I am not. And it doesn’t have anything to do with what Strane did or didn’t do to me when I was younger. I’m not a victim because I never wanted to be, and If I didn’t want to be, then I’m not. That’s how it works. The difference between rape and sex is state of mind. You can’t rape the willing, right?” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
“I'm a speckled seal swimming past the breakers, a seabird with a wingspan so long I can fly for miles. I'm the new moon, hidden and safe from him, from everyone.” ― Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa
