“Meddy, how can you say that? Your aunties coming over, so late at night, coming to help us get rid of body, and we don’t even offer them any food? How can? Oh, we have dragon fruit, good, good.”
―
Jesse Q. Sutanto,
Dial A For Aunties
“You're not a mess. You just kill by accident only. Bad luck. Can happen to anyone.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“I’m basically driven by a mixture of caffeine and familial guilt.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“I look at the ceiling. Pretty sure that when Glad was planning their marketing campaign, they didn’t think their target market would be a bunch of middle-aged Chinese women arguing about how to best dispose of a body.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties
“I hear about this kind of Internet scam before. Is called goldfish.” “Catfish,” I say. “No, I’m sure is call goldfish. Because pretend got gold, but actually just a fish.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“My eyes fill with tears. All these years, I have never seen it that way, but Ma’s right. I did grow up with four mothers, and it really has been amazing. There’s been so much love in my life that I took for granted.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties
“If only every bad thing in life could be removed just by mopping it away.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers
“I told you to buy Glad brand. Haven’t you seen their ads? Glad bags will hold his cut-up body just fine, no leaks!” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“People always say that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life, but honestly, people should try solving murders more often.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers
“Or maybe the business is dealing coke. Or human trafficking. Wow, I have a low opinion of my family.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties
“Don’t leave your big day to chance, leave it to the Chans!” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“Some of the aunties in Dial A for Aunties speak the sort of broken English that my parents’ generation does. Their grasp of the English language is not a reflection of their intelligence, but a reflection of the sacrifice that they have made for us. They are, in essence, trilingual, and I am so proud of this heritage.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“They band together and reduce us to kids having a tantrum, dismissing our words so we can’t pierce their armor. Part of me wants to kick crazily at the floor and scream until they listen, but of course that’ll only confirm their belief that I’m nothing more than a silly child.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties
“Yes, you right, more respectful". She pats me on the cheek. "I raise you so well".Hysteria rises from deep in my stomach and I have to swallow it. Trust Ma to take pride in my etiquette when I've just shown her my date, whom I've killed, in the trunk of my car.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“Generations of Chinese mothers have perfected the art of sniffing out guilt, and Vera can practically see waves of guilt churning out of the young people gathered before her.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers
“Lord help me, we are literally talking about fridging the dude.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“Chinese family meals aren’t complete without everyone serving food to everyone else, because doing so shows love and respect, which means we all need to do it in the most attention-seeking way possible.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties
“Who drugged you?” Sheriff McConnell roars. “I mean, I don’t know. I’d like to know, that was some good stuff—er, I mean, yeah, that was really uncool, drugging us like that,” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“Yay, global warming,” I cheer weakly. Bad for the environment, good for killers.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties
“You're not a mess. You just kill by accident only. Bad luck. Can happen to anyone.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“I’m basically driven by a mixture of caffeine and familial guilt.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“I look at the ceiling. Pretty sure that when Glad was planning their marketing campaign, they didn’t think their target market would be a bunch of middle-aged Chinese women arguing about how to best dispose of a body.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties
“I hear about this kind of Internet scam before. Is called goldfish.” “Catfish,” I say. “No, I’m sure is call goldfish. Because pretend got gold, but actually just a fish.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“My eyes fill with tears. All these years, I have never seen it that way, but Ma’s right. I did grow up with four mothers, and it really has been amazing. There’s been so much love in my life that I took for granted.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties
“If only every bad thing in life could be removed just by mopping it away.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers
“I told you to buy Glad brand. Haven’t you seen their ads? Glad bags will hold his cut-up body just fine, no leaks!” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“People always say that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life, but honestly, people should try solving murders more often.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers
“Or maybe the business is dealing coke. Or human trafficking. Wow, I have a low opinion of my family.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties
“Don’t leave your big day to chance, leave it to the Chans!” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“Some of the aunties in Dial A for Aunties speak the sort of broken English that my parents’ generation does. Their grasp of the English language is not a reflection of their intelligence, but a reflection of the sacrifice that they have made for us. They are, in essence, trilingual, and I am so proud of this heritage.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“They band together and reduce us to kids having a tantrum, dismissing our words so we can’t pierce their armor. Part of me wants to kick crazily at the floor and scream until they listen, but of course that’ll only confirm their belief that I’m nothing more than a silly child.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties
“Yes, you right, more respectful". She pats me on the cheek. "I raise you so well".Hysteria rises from deep in my stomach and I have to swallow it. Trust Ma to take pride in my etiquette when I've just shown her my date, whom I've killed, in the trunk of my car.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“Generations of Chinese mothers have perfected the art of sniffing out guilt, and Vera can practically see waves of guilt churning out of the young people gathered before her.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Vera Wong’s Unsolicited Advice for Murderers
“Lord help me, we are literally talking about fridging the dude.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“Chinese family meals aren’t complete without everyone serving food to everyone else, because doing so shows love and respect, which means we all need to do it in the most attention-seeking way possible.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties
“Who drugged you?” Sheriff McConnell roars. “I mean, I don’t know. I’d like to know, that was some good stuff—er, I mean, yeah, that was really uncool, drugging us like that,” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A for Aunties
“Yay, global warming,” I cheer weakly. Bad for the environment, good for killers.” ― Jesse Q. Sutanto, Dial A For Aunties
