“But now it seems possible that the truth about getting older is that there are fewer and fewer things to make fun of until finally there is nothing you are sure you will never be.”
―
Jenny Offill,
Dept. of Speculation
“If I had to sum up what he did to me, I’d say it was this: he made me sing along to all the bad songs on the radio. Both when he loved me and when he didn't.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“She thinks before she acts. Or more properly, she thinks instead of acts. A character flaw, not a virtue.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“My plan was to never get married. I was going to be an art monster instead. Women almost never become art monsters because art monsters only concern themselves with art, never mundane things. Nabokov didn't even fold his own umbrella. Vera licked his stamps for him.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“Three things no one has ever said about me:You make it look so easy.You are very mysterious.You need to take yourself more seriously.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“A thought experiment courtesy of the Stoics. If you are tired of everything you possess, imagine that you have lost all these things.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“This is another way in which he is an admirable person. If he notices something is broken, he will try to fix it. He won’t just think about how unbearable it is that things keep breaking, that you can never fucking outrun entropy.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“The only love that feels like love is the doomed kind. (Fun fact.)” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“Young person worry: What if nothing I do matters?Old person worry: What if everything I do does?” ― Jenny Offill, Weather
“A few nights later, I secretly hope that I might be a genius. Why else can no amount of sleeping pills fell my brain? But in the morning my daughter asks me what a cloud is and I cannot say.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“Some women make it look so easy, the way they cast ambition off like an expensive coat that no longer fits.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“The Buddhists say there are 121 states of consciousness. Of these, only three involve misery or suffering. Most of us spend our time moving back and forth between these three.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“Advice for wives circa 1896: The indiscriminate reading of novels is one of the most injurious habits to which a married woman can be subject. Besides the false views of human nature it will impart … it produces an indifference to the performance of domestic duties, and contempt for ordinary realities.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“Also she signed away the right to self-destruct years ago. The fine print on the birth certificate, her friend calls it.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“And then it is another day and another and another but I will not go on about this because no doubt you too have experienced time.” ― Jenny Offill, Weather
“And that phrase - 'sleeping like a baby.' Some blonde said it blithely on the subway the other day. I wanted to lie down next to her and scream for five hours in her ear.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“How had she become one of those people who wears yoga pants all day? She used to make fun of those people. With their happiness maps and their gratitude journals and their bags made out of recycled tire treads. But now it seems possible that the truth about getting older is that there are fewer and fewer things to make fun of until finally there is nothing you are sure you will never be.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“There is still such crookedness in my heart. I had thought loving two people so much would straighten it.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“It is important if someone asks you to remember one of your happiest times to consider not only the question but also the questioner. If the question is asked by someone you love, it is fair to assume that this person hopes to feature in this recollection he has called forth.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“If I had to sum up what he did to me, I’d say it was this: he made me sing along to all the bad songs on the radio. Both when he loved me and when he didn't.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“She thinks before she acts. Or more properly, she thinks instead of acts. A character flaw, not a virtue.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“My plan was to never get married. I was going to be an art monster instead. Women almost never become art monsters because art monsters only concern themselves with art, never mundane things. Nabokov didn't even fold his own umbrella. Vera licked his stamps for him.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“Three things no one has ever said about me:You make it look so easy.You are very mysterious.You need to take yourself more seriously.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“A thought experiment courtesy of the Stoics. If you are tired of everything you possess, imagine that you have lost all these things.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“This is another way in which he is an admirable person. If he notices something is broken, he will try to fix it. He won’t just think about how unbearable it is that things keep breaking, that you can never fucking outrun entropy.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“The only love that feels like love is the doomed kind. (Fun fact.)” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“Young person worry: What if nothing I do matters?Old person worry: What if everything I do does?” ― Jenny Offill, Weather
“A few nights later, I secretly hope that I might be a genius. Why else can no amount of sleeping pills fell my brain? But in the morning my daughter asks me what a cloud is and I cannot say.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“Some women make it look so easy, the way they cast ambition off like an expensive coat that no longer fits.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“The Buddhists say there are 121 states of consciousness. Of these, only three involve misery or suffering. Most of us spend our time moving back and forth between these three.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“Advice for wives circa 1896: The indiscriminate reading of novels is one of the most injurious habits to which a married woman can be subject. Besides the false views of human nature it will impart … it produces an indifference to the performance of domestic duties, and contempt for ordinary realities.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“Also she signed away the right to self-destruct years ago. The fine print on the birth certificate, her friend calls it.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“And then it is another day and another and another but I will not go on about this because no doubt you too have experienced time.” ― Jenny Offill, Weather
“And that phrase - 'sleeping like a baby.' Some blonde said it blithely on the subway the other day. I wanted to lie down next to her and scream for five hours in her ear.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“How had she become one of those people who wears yoga pants all day? She used to make fun of those people. With their happiness maps and their gratitude journals and their bags made out of recycled tire treads. But now it seems possible that the truth about getting older is that there are fewer and fewer things to make fun of until finally there is nothing you are sure you will never be.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“There is still such crookedness in my heart. I had thought loving two people so much would straighten it.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
“It is important if someone asks you to remember one of your happiest times to consider not only the question but also the questioner. If the question is asked by someone you love, it is fair to assume that this person hopes to feature in this recollection he has called forth.” ― Jenny Offill, Dept. of Speculation
