“Come, meat! Let this farce end! My people are hungry for manflesh!” “That’s what she said,” Joe whispered before shoveling more popcorn into his face.”
―
Dakota Krout,
Regicide
“Caffeinated! Temporary changes: Movement speed +10%! Charisma -2. Intelligence +1!” ― Dakota Krout, Raze
“Feel free to play with your balls here anytime you like.” ― Dakota Krout, Inflame
“if I ever die, I want you to be the one to lower my body into the ground, just so that you can let me down one last time.>” ― Dakota Krout, Dungeon Desolation
“In classic gamer style, they were ready to throw themselves against overwhelming odds.” ― Dakota Krout, Ritualist
“he was still somewhat leery of agreeing to work now for a possible reward later. It was like an artist being asked to work for ‘exposure’. People die of exposure!” ― Dakota Krout, Raze
“Intimidation (Journeyman I). You have learned that the most efficient method of dealing with people is saying exactly what you want. Honesty is key, and people have learned to respect that! This skill allows you to make new friends, gain better prices at shops, and speed up conversation. Sometimes people will even give you money for no particular reason! +2% chance to make a new friend, gain money, and get better prices per skill rank. Caution, sometimes people are afraid of the truth and will get mad about how friendly you are. They may even call guards to attack you!” ― Dakota Krout, Rexus: Side Quest
“Mike looked at the building once more. He squinted and pointed up. “No shingles on the roof?” “Well, Mike,” Joe stood up, brushed off his Robe of Liquid Darkness, and shrugged, “no shingles on the blueprint.” ― Dakota Krout, Raze
“pickaxe-density erections” ― Dakota Krout, Dungeon Madness
“Tomatoes. Why tomatoes? Think of it like this: Strength was how hard you could throw a tomato. Dexterity was how fast you could get to a tomato and allowed you to slice the fruit without hurting yourself. Constitution let you eat rotten tomatoes without getting sick. Intelligence let you know that a tomato was a fruit, while wisdom let you know not to put it in a fruit salad. Charisma allowed you to sell a tomato-based fruit salad. Perception let you spot tomatoes” ― Dakota Krout, Ritualist
“Some people choose to be tanks… some tanks are chosen. I think you are one of the chosen.” ― Dakota Krout, Ritualist
“Yes, dimensional warping. Someone had to have done this for the first time in the past. I don’t know who they were, but they must have had a pair on them bigger than my dungeon to be messing around with forces like these.” ― Dakota Krout, Dungeon Madness
“You don’t poke anyone with your sword. You don’t poke them with your finger, or a fork, or a spoon, or anything!” She hadn’t meant to raise her voice at the end, but she was starting to get very frustrated. “The game is called poker, but there isn’t any actual poking at all. Don’t worry about the name! It is a game about trying to get the best hand.” “This sounds gruesome. Now I have to cut people’s hands off?” ― Dakota Krout, Dokeshi March
“Are ya ready, Dwarves?” Havoc howled at his troops; their reply was almost incoherent screaming. “Aye, aye, Major General!” Havoc slammed his construct’s left ‘fist’ into the mountain, sending a spray of torn-out stone flying into the air. The other fist came down as that one retracted. “I can’t hear you!” “Aye, aye, Major General!” “Ohhh!” The fists started moving four times as fast as they pulverized the rocky surface. “Elves in a bunker, under this rock!” “War crimes, war crimes!” “What will we do, when we pull them on top?” Havoc bellowed as rock chips flew everywhere. “War crimes, war crimes!” “Is bloodshed and razing something you wish?” “War crimes, war crimes!” “Then come over here, and gut 'em like a fish!” “War crimes, war crimes!” “Ready?” Havoc popped out of the golem as it vanished into the tunnel it was rapidly digging, and he no longer needed to manually control it. “War crimes, war crimes…” “War crimes, war crimes!” “War cri~imes…! Here we go~o!” ― Dakota Krout, Inflame
“Mate then noticed the cat as well. It bubbled and steamed, and the cat hissed. Mate hissed like a kettle, then vanished into Joe’s sleeve once more. Joe stood and slowly backed away from the cat, “What are you, really? I don’t trust anything that my coffee doesn’t.” ― Dakota Krout, Inflame
“Masters of this skill have been known to remain in the air long enough to cross canyons, and Sages are rumored to be able to walk on clouds. You though… you can do a flip.” ― Dakota Krout, Regicide
“With the refractive quality, no matter where people look, the light will be right in their face!” “Oh, Kirby.” Joe had chuckled at her falling expression. “This is an effective, well-made ritual… which makes rainbows. Just rainbows. If it helps, they would be rainbows that you could see at night, or use to light up an area. If there are things like sporting events or concerts, this is something they would love to have.” ― Dakota Krout, Ruthless
“Still, his beans seemed to be full of admiration;” ― Dakota Krout, Ruthless
“I do, in fact, have a plan.” Aten told Joe, much to his surprise. “It requires a bit of legal mumbo-jumbo, so bear with me.” “Rawr!” Joe waved his hands in front of him like they were claws. Seeing that no one was smiling, Joe coughed into his hand and settled into a seat. “Sorry, was trying to ‘bear’ with you.” ― Dakota Krout, Ruthless
“Caffeinated! Temporary changes: Movement speed +10%! Charisma -2. Intelligence +1!” ― Dakota Krout, Raze
“Feel free to play with your balls here anytime you like.” ― Dakota Krout, Inflame
“if I ever die, I want you to be the one to lower my body into the ground, just so that you can let me down one last time.>” ― Dakota Krout, Dungeon Desolation
“In classic gamer style, they were ready to throw themselves against overwhelming odds.” ― Dakota Krout, Ritualist
“he was still somewhat leery of agreeing to work now for a possible reward later. It was like an artist being asked to work for ‘exposure’. People die of exposure!” ― Dakota Krout, Raze
“Intimidation (Journeyman I). You have learned that the most efficient method of dealing with people is saying exactly what you want. Honesty is key, and people have learned to respect that! This skill allows you to make new friends, gain better prices at shops, and speed up conversation. Sometimes people will even give you money for no particular reason! +2% chance to make a new friend, gain money, and get better prices per skill rank. Caution, sometimes people are afraid of the truth and will get mad about how friendly you are. They may even call guards to attack you!” ― Dakota Krout, Rexus: Side Quest
“Mike looked at the building once more. He squinted and pointed up. “No shingles on the roof?” “Well, Mike,” Joe stood up, brushed off his Robe of Liquid Darkness, and shrugged, “no shingles on the blueprint.” ― Dakota Krout, Raze
“pickaxe-density erections” ― Dakota Krout, Dungeon Madness
“Tomatoes. Why tomatoes? Think of it like this: Strength was how hard you could throw a tomato. Dexterity was how fast you could get to a tomato and allowed you to slice the fruit without hurting yourself. Constitution let you eat rotten tomatoes without getting sick. Intelligence let you know that a tomato was a fruit, while wisdom let you know not to put it in a fruit salad. Charisma allowed you to sell a tomato-based fruit salad. Perception let you spot tomatoes” ― Dakota Krout, Ritualist
“Some people choose to be tanks… some tanks are chosen. I think you are one of the chosen.” ― Dakota Krout, Ritualist
“Yes, dimensional warping. Someone had to have done this for the first time in the past. I don’t know who they were, but they must have had a pair on them bigger than my dungeon to be messing around with forces like these.” ― Dakota Krout, Dungeon Madness
“You don’t poke anyone with your sword. You don’t poke them with your finger, or a fork, or a spoon, or anything!” She hadn’t meant to raise her voice at the end, but she was starting to get very frustrated. “The game is called poker, but there isn’t any actual poking at all. Don’t worry about the name! It is a game about trying to get the best hand.” “This sounds gruesome. Now I have to cut people’s hands off?” ― Dakota Krout, Dokeshi March
“Are ya ready, Dwarves?” Havoc howled at his troops; their reply was almost incoherent screaming. “Aye, aye, Major General!” Havoc slammed his construct’s left ‘fist’ into the mountain, sending a spray of torn-out stone flying into the air. The other fist came down as that one retracted. “I can’t hear you!” “Aye, aye, Major General!” “Ohhh!” The fists started moving four times as fast as they pulverized the rocky surface. “Elves in a bunker, under this rock!” “War crimes, war crimes!” “What will we do, when we pull them on top?” Havoc bellowed as rock chips flew everywhere. “War crimes, war crimes!” “Is bloodshed and razing something you wish?” “War crimes, war crimes!” “Then come over here, and gut 'em like a fish!” “War crimes, war crimes!” “Ready?” Havoc popped out of the golem as it vanished into the tunnel it was rapidly digging, and he no longer needed to manually control it. “War crimes, war crimes…” “War crimes, war crimes!” “War cri~imes…! Here we go~o!” ― Dakota Krout, Inflame
“Mate then noticed the cat as well. It bubbled and steamed, and the cat hissed. Mate hissed like a kettle, then vanished into Joe’s sleeve once more. Joe stood and slowly backed away from the cat, “What are you, really? I don’t trust anything that my coffee doesn’t.” ― Dakota Krout, Inflame
“Masters of this skill have been known to remain in the air long enough to cross canyons, and Sages are rumored to be able to walk on clouds. You though… you can do a flip.” ― Dakota Krout, Regicide
“With the refractive quality, no matter where people look, the light will be right in their face!” “Oh, Kirby.” Joe had chuckled at her falling expression. “This is an effective, well-made ritual… which makes rainbows. Just rainbows. If it helps, they would be rainbows that you could see at night, or use to light up an area. If there are things like sporting events or concerts, this is something they would love to have.” ― Dakota Krout, Ruthless
“Still, his beans seemed to be full of admiration;” ― Dakota Krout, Ruthless
“I do, in fact, have a plan.” Aten told Joe, much to his surprise. “It requires a bit of legal mumbo-jumbo, so bear with me.” “Rawr!” Joe waved his hands in front of him like they were claws. Seeing that no one was smiling, Joe coughed into his hand and settled into a seat. “Sorry, was trying to ‘bear’ with you.” ― Dakota Krout, Ruthless
