“I know I'll die someday, but I buy books like an immortal.”
―
Jeff Strand
“I cursed. (S-word, f-word, s-word, d-word, s-word times three, f-word, and a z-word I made up on the spot.) I kicked a brick wall. I said the z-word again in response to the pain that came from kicking a brick wall.” ― Jeff Strand, A Bad Day for Voodoo
“What makes you think I'm coping?" "Well, for one thing, you're not lying on the floor in the fetal position. That's a good start.” ― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse
“Pregnant women shouldn’t be lifting dead bodies.” ― Jeff Strand, Stalking You Now
“You don't want me to die alone, do you? Nobody should have to die alone." "You won't be alone," said Rachel. "The assassin will be there with you.” ― Jeff Strand, Blister
“You know Hitler? I like Hitler more than I like you, and I'm a Jew.” ― Jeff Strand, Blister
“Perhaps [he had] persevered for too long, in the face of too many obstacles, his hair proof of his tenacity - the stark black streaked with white or, in certain light, stark white shot through with black, each strand of white attributable to the jungle fever (so cold it burned, his skin glacial), each strand of black a testament to being alive afterwards.” ― Jeff VanderMeer, City of Saints and Madmen
“This is a really lame exchange of hidden messages.” ― Jeff Strand, Cyclops Road
“If Raiders of the Lost Ark taught us anything, it's that you don't swing your sword at somebody who has a gun.” ― Jeff Strand, Cyclops Road
“I'm doing this because I'm insane. Doesn't my mad cackle make me sound insane?” ― Jeff Strand, Dead Clown Barbecue
“I didn't do anything to you." "You're right. You didn't. And if I kept shouting 'Revenge!' the whole time I was cutting you, that argument would have some substance. But since I've given no indication that my actions are vengeance-based, it was a pointless thing to say.” ― Jeff Strand, Dead Clown Barbecue
“Oh, no, you are not going all boa constrictor on me!" he told it,” ― Jeff Strand, The Haunted Forest Tour
“I'm not sure when "destruction" officially becomes a "rampage," but when that vampire started kicking down the buildings next to the police station I decided that we had a good old fashioned rampage on our hands.” ― Jeff Strand, Dead Clown Barbecue
“Stay quiet or the last sound you’ll hear is your brain exiting through your eye sockets. It’s sort of a bang/slurp sound. Trust me, you wouldn’t like it.” ― Jeff Strand, Suckers
“New York, New York. The Big Apple. The City That Never Sleeps. Spider-Man's hometown. I assume it's a pretty cool place to visit, when you're not stuck in a fleabag motel for three days cramming for finals week in the psychopath exams.” ― Jeff Strand, The Andrew Mayhem Collection 4-Book Bundle
“You know, if I look at the wound on an angle, it reminds me of a stripper I know.” I amended my “complete asshole” assessment to include the words “from hell.” “So this is where we part ways, slowly drift apart, and eventually fail to keep in touch altogether, right?” I asked.” ― Jeff Strand, Suckers
“it’s crazy to think he wouldn’t call the police. But I despise him. I don’t care how irrational it is; if my mind worked normally, I wouldn’t have killed eight people for the fun of it.” ― Jeff Strand, Stalking You Now
“Okay, obviously I didn't die or I wouldn't be able to relate this tender little narrative. Unless, of course, I'm a ghost, writing these words through an Ouija board. That would be pretty cool, but also incredibly time consuming, and the human I was channeling through would probably try to steal all the credit.” ― Jeff Strand, The Andrew Mayhem Collection 4-Book Bundle
“Fishing poles. The weapon of choice for the traveler in distress. We also had lots and lots of marshmallows. Maybe we could immobilize these guys with sticky gooey goodness.” ― Jeff Strand, The Andrew Mayhem Collection 4-Book Bundle
“I cursed. (S-word, f-word, s-word, d-word, s-word times three, f-word, and a z-word I made up on the spot.) I kicked a brick wall. I said the z-word again in response to the pain that came from kicking a brick wall.” ― Jeff Strand, A Bad Day for Voodoo
“What makes you think I'm coping?" "Well, for one thing, you're not lying on the floor in the fetal position. That's a good start.” ― Jeff Strand, The Sinister Mr. Corpse
“Pregnant women shouldn’t be lifting dead bodies.” ― Jeff Strand, Stalking You Now
“You don't want me to die alone, do you? Nobody should have to die alone." "You won't be alone," said Rachel. "The assassin will be there with you.” ― Jeff Strand, Blister
“You know Hitler? I like Hitler more than I like you, and I'm a Jew.” ― Jeff Strand, Blister
“Perhaps [he had] persevered for too long, in the face of too many obstacles, his hair proof of his tenacity - the stark black streaked with white or, in certain light, stark white shot through with black, each strand of white attributable to the jungle fever (so cold it burned, his skin glacial), each strand of black a testament to being alive afterwards.” ― Jeff VanderMeer, City of Saints and Madmen
“This is a really lame exchange of hidden messages.” ― Jeff Strand, Cyclops Road
“If Raiders of the Lost Ark taught us anything, it's that you don't swing your sword at somebody who has a gun.” ― Jeff Strand, Cyclops Road
“I'm doing this because I'm insane. Doesn't my mad cackle make me sound insane?” ― Jeff Strand, Dead Clown Barbecue
“I didn't do anything to you." "You're right. You didn't. And if I kept shouting 'Revenge!' the whole time I was cutting you, that argument would have some substance. But since I've given no indication that my actions are vengeance-based, it was a pointless thing to say.” ― Jeff Strand, Dead Clown Barbecue
“Oh, no, you are not going all boa constrictor on me!" he told it,” ― Jeff Strand, The Haunted Forest Tour
“I'm not sure when "destruction" officially becomes a "rampage," but when that vampire started kicking down the buildings next to the police station I decided that we had a good old fashioned rampage on our hands.” ― Jeff Strand, Dead Clown Barbecue
“Stay quiet or the last sound you’ll hear is your brain exiting through your eye sockets. It’s sort of a bang/slurp sound. Trust me, you wouldn’t like it.” ― Jeff Strand, Suckers
“New York, New York. The Big Apple. The City That Never Sleeps. Spider-Man's hometown. I assume it's a pretty cool place to visit, when you're not stuck in a fleabag motel for three days cramming for finals week in the psychopath exams.” ― Jeff Strand, The Andrew Mayhem Collection 4-Book Bundle
“You know, if I look at the wound on an angle, it reminds me of a stripper I know.” I amended my “complete asshole” assessment to include the words “from hell.” “So this is where we part ways, slowly drift apart, and eventually fail to keep in touch altogether, right?” I asked.” ― Jeff Strand, Suckers
“it’s crazy to think he wouldn’t call the police. But I despise him. I don’t care how irrational it is; if my mind worked normally, I wouldn’t have killed eight people for the fun of it.” ― Jeff Strand, Stalking You Now
“Okay, obviously I didn't die or I wouldn't be able to relate this tender little narrative. Unless, of course, I'm a ghost, writing these words through an Ouija board. That would be pretty cool, but also incredibly time consuming, and the human I was channeling through would probably try to steal all the credit.” ― Jeff Strand, The Andrew Mayhem Collection 4-Book Bundle
“Fishing poles. The weapon of choice for the traveler in distress. We also had lots and lots of marshmallows. Maybe we could immobilize these guys with sticky gooey goodness.” ― Jeff Strand, The Andrew Mayhem Collection 4-Book Bundle
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