“He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of negotiation.”
―
Chris Voss,
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“Conflict brings out truth, creativity, and resolution.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“Negotiate in their world. Persuasion is not about how bright or smooth or forceful you are. It’s about the other party convincing themselves that the solution you want is their own idea. So don’t beat them with logic or brute force. Ask them questions that open paths to your goals. It’s not about you.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“If you approach a negotiation thinking the other guy thinks like you, you are wrong. That's not empathy, that's a projection.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“The beauty of empathy is that it doesn’t demand that you agree with the other person’s ideas” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“Hope is not a strategy” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“Negotiation is not an act of battle; it’s a process of discovery. The goal is to uncover as much information as possible. ■” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“Mirrors work magic. Repeat the last three words (or the critical one to three words) of what someone has just said. We fear what’s different and are drawn to what’s similar. Mirroring is the art of insinuating similarity, which facilitates bonding. Use mirrors to encourage the other side to empathize and bond with you, keep people talking, buy your side time to regroup, and encourage your counterparts to reveal their strategy.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Another simple rule is, when you are verbally assaulted, do not counterattack. Instead, disarm your counterpart by asking a calibrated question.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Research shows that the best way to deal with negativity is to observe it, without reaction and without judgment. Then consciously label each negative feeling and replace it with positive, compassionate, and solution-based thoughts. One” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“Psychotherapy research shows that when individuals feel listened to, they tend to listen to themselves more carefully and to openly evaluate and clarify their own thoughts and feelings.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“This is listening as a martial art, balancing the subtle behaviors of emotional intelligence and the assertive skills of influence, to gain access to the mind of another person. Contrary to popular opinion, listening is not a passive activity. It is the most active thing you can do. Once” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“The fastest and most efficient means of establishing a quick working relationship is to acknowledge the negative and diffuse it.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“The positive/playful voice: Should be your default voice. It’s the voice of an easygoing, good-natured person. Your attitude is light and encouraging. The key here is to relax and smile while you’re talking.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Though the intensity may differ from person to person, you can be sure that everyone you meet is driven by two primal urges: the need to feel safe and secure, and the need to feel in control. If you satisfy those drives, you’re in the door.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“It’s a phenomenon (and now technique) that follows a very basic but profound biological principle: We fear what’s different and are drawn to what’s similar. As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. Mirroring, then, when practiced consciously, is the art of insinuating similarity. “Trust me,” a mirror signals to another’s unconscious, “You and I—we’re alike.” Once” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“The person across the table is never the problem. The unsolved issue is. So focus on the issue. This is one of the most basic tactics for avoiding emotional escalations. Our culture demonizes people in movies and politics, which creates the mentality that if we only got rid of the person then everything would be okay. But this dynamic is toxic to any negotiation.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“By repeating back what people say, you trigger this mirroring instinct and your counterpart will inevitably elaborate on what was just said and sustain the process of connecting.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“Playing dumb is a valid negotiating technique, and” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“Conflict brings out truth, creativity, and resolution.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“Negotiate in their world. Persuasion is not about how bright or smooth or forceful you are. It’s about the other party convincing themselves that the solution you want is their own idea. So don’t beat them with logic or brute force. Ask them questions that open paths to your goals. It’s not about you.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“If you approach a negotiation thinking the other guy thinks like you, you are wrong. That's not empathy, that's a projection.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“The beauty of empathy is that it doesn’t demand that you agree with the other person’s ideas” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“Hope is not a strategy” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“Negotiation is not an act of battle; it’s a process of discovery. The goal is to uncover as much information as possible. ■” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“Mirrors work magic. Repeat the last three words (or the critical one to three words) of what someone has just said. We fear what’s different and are drawn to what’s similar. Mirroring is the art of insinuating similarity, which facilitates bonding. Use mirrors to encourage the other side to empathize and bond with you, keep people talking, buy your side time to regroup, and encourage your counterparts to reveal their strategy.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Another simple rule is, when you are verbally assaulted, do not counterattack. Instead, disarm your counterpart by asking a calibrated question.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Research shows that the best way to deal with negativity is to observe it, without reaction and without judgment. Then consciously label each negative feeling and replace it with positive, compassionate, and solution-based thoughts. One” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“Psychotherapy research shows that when individuals feel listened to, they tend to listen to themselves more carefully and to openly evaluate and clarify their own thoughts and feelings.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“This is listening as a martial art, balancing the subtle behaviors of emotional intelligence and the assertive skills of influence, to gain access to the mind of another person. Contrary to popular opinion, listening is not a passive activity. It is the most active thing you can do. Once” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“The fastest and most efficient means of establishing a quick working relationship is to acknowledge the negative and diffuse it.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“The positive/playful voice: Should be your default voice. It’s the voice of an easygoing, good-natured person. Your attitude is light and encouraging. The key here is to relax and smile while you’re talking.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“Though the intensity may differ from person to person, you can be sure that everyone you meet is driven by two primal urges: the need to feel safe and secure, and the need to feel in control. If you satisfy those drives, you’re in the door.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
“It’s a phenomenon (and now technique) that follows a very basic but profound biological principle: We fear what’s different and are drawn to what’s similar. As the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. Mirroring, then, when practiced consciously, is the art of insinuating similarity. “Trust me,” a mirror signals to another’s unconscious, “You and I—we’re alike.” Once” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“The person across the table is never the problem. The unsolved issue is. So focus on the issue. This is one of the most basic tactics for avoiding emotional escalations. Our culture demonizes people in movies and politics, which creates the mentality that if we only got rid of the person then everything would be okay. But this dynamic is toxic to any negotiation.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“By repeating back what people say, you trigger this mirroring instinct and your counterpart will inevitably elaborate on what was just said and sustain the process of connecting.” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
“Playing dumb is a valid negotiating technique, and” ― Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
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