“He's not the hero and he's not the enemy and he's not a god. He's just a boy. And I'm just a girl, a girl who needs to pick up her own pieces and put them back together herself.”
―
Amber Smith,
The Way I Used to Be
“It's one slice of shit-cake after another with me, isn't it? Why did you marry me?""God gave you to me.""Did you keep the receipt?"- Amber and Meoraq” ― R. Lee Smith, The Last Hour of Gann
“I don't know who I am right now. But I know who I'm not. And I like that.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“I hate that just because you happen to be good at something,people automatically think that's what makes you happy,but it's not really like that, you know? It's not that simple.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“All you have to do is act like you’re normal and okay, and people start treating you that way.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“Maybe He'll get what he deserves. Maybe Not. Maybe I'll never find it in my heart to forgive him. And maybe there's nothing wrong with that,either. All those maybes swimming around my head make me think that "maybe" could just be another word for hope.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“Because whatever he thinks I am, I'm not. And whatever he thinks my body is, it isn't. My Body is a torture chamber. It's a fucking crime scene.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“And I’m terrified he’ll see through the tough iceberg layer, and he’ll discover not a soft, sweet girl, but an ugly fucking disaster underneath.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“I feel these forbidden thoughts creep in sometimes without warning. Slow thoughts that always start quietly, like whispers you're not even sure you're hearing. And then they get louder and louder until they become every sound in the entire world. Thoughts that can't be undone. Would anyone care? Would anyone even fucking notice? What if one day I just wasn't here anymore? What if one day it all just stopped? What if? What if? What if?” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“. And I really wonder how people get to be normal like this. How they just seem to know what to say and do, automatically.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“I can hear him breathing on the other side of the door,breathing oddly,like,unevenly. But,no,it's not him just breathing,I realize slowly. He's crying. And I kneel there on the other side of the door that might as well be the other side of the galaxy,feeling so empty,so dead inside.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“All these maybes swimming around my head make me think that "maybe" could just be another word for hope.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“No, can’t cry. Because there’s nothing to cry about. Because it was just a dream. A bad dream. A nightmare. Not real. Not real. Not real. That’s what I keep thinking: NotRealNotRealNotReal. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Like a mantra. Like a prayer.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“Meoraq swung around and raked his eyes over the whole of them. “Who dares order me to silence?” “I do,” said Amber. “Shut up.” ― R. Lee Smith, The Last Hour of Gann
“I don’t know a lot of things. I don’t know why I didn’t hear the door click. Why I didn’t lock the damn door to begin with. Or why it didn’t register that something was wrong, so mercilessy wrong when I felt the mattress shift under his weight. Why I didn’t scream when I opened my eyes and saw him crawling between my sheets. Or why I didn’t to try to fight him when I still stood a chance.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“Because, in my heart, I know, I’m not who he thinks I am. Not even close. And he’s not who I want him to be, either.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“I don’t know how long I lay there afterward, telling myself: squeeze your eyelids tight, just try to forget. Try to ignore all the things that didn’t feel right, all the things that felt like they would never feel right again.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“I'm scared. Really scared he's about to leave me. And more scared because I don't want him to.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“His hands, his arms, can hold the pieces in place temporarily, maybe even for a long time, but he can never truly put them back together. That's not his job. He's not the hero and he's not the enemy and he's not a god. He's just a boy. And I'm just a girl, a girl who needs to pick up her own pieces and put them back together herself.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“It's one slice of shit-cake after another with me, isn't it? Why did you marry me?""God gave you to me.""Did you keep the receipt?"- Amber and Meoraq” ― R. Lee Smith, The Last Hour of Gann
“I don't know who I am right now. But I know who I'm not. And I like that.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“I hate that just because you happen to be good at something,people automatically think that's what makes you happy,but it's not really like that, you know? It's not that simple.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“All you have to do is act like you’re normal and okay, and people start treating you that way.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“Maybe He'll get what he deserves. Maybe Not. Maybe I'll never find it in my heart to forgive him. And maybe there's nothing wrong with that,either. All those maybes swimming around my head make me think that "maybe" could just be another word for hope.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“Because whatever he thinks I am, I'm not. And whatever he thinks my body is, it isn't. My Body is a torture chamber. It's a fucking crime scene.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“And I’m terrified he’ll see through the tough iceberg layer, and he’ll discover not a soft, sweet girl, but an ugly fucking disaster underneath.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“I feel these forbidden thoughts creep in sometimes without warning. Slow thoughts that always start quietly, like whispers you're not even sure you're hearing. And then they get louder and louder until they become every sound in the entire world. Thoughts that can't be undone. Would anyone care? Would anyone even fucking notice? What if one day I just wasn't here anymore? What if one day it all just stopped? What if? What if? What if?” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“. And I really wonder how people get to be normal like this. How they just seem to know what to say and do, automatically.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“I can hear him breathing on the other side of the door,breathing oddly,like,unevenly. But,no,it's not him just breathing,I realize slowly. He's crying. And I kneel there on the other side of the door that might as well be the other side of the galaxy,feeling so empty,so dead inside.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“All these maybes swimming around my head make me think that "maybe" could just be another word for hope.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“No, can’t cry. Because there’s nothing to cry about. Because it was just a dream. A bad dream. A nightmare. Not real. Not real. Not real. That’s what I keep thinking: NotRealNotRealNotReal. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Like a mantra. Like a prayer.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“Meoraq swung around and raked his eyes over the whole of them. “Who dares order me to silence?” “I do,” said Amber. “Shut up.” ― R. Lee Smith, The Last Hour of Gann
“I don’t know a lot of things. I don’t know why I didn’t hear the door click. Why I didn’t lock the damn door to begin with. Or why it didn’t register that something was wrong, so mercilessy wrong when I felt the mattress shift under his weight. Why I didn’t scream when I opened my eyes and saw him crawling between my sheets. Or why I didn’t to try to fight him when I still stood a chance.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“Because, in my heart, I know, I’m not who he thinks I am. Not even close. And he’s not who I want him to be, either.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“I don’t know how long I lay there afterward, telling myself: squeeze your eyelids tight, just try to forget. Try to ignore all the things that didn’t feel right, all the things that felt like they would never feel right again.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“I'm scared. Really scared he's about to leave me. And more scared because I don't want him to.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
“His hands, his arms, can hold the pieces in place temporarily, maybe even for a long time, but he can never truly put them back together. That's not his job. He's not the hero and he's not the enemy and he's not a god. He's just a boy. And I'm just a girl, a girl who needs to pick up her own pieces and put them back together herself.” ― Amber Smith, The Way I Used to Be
Read More! Learn More!