in Fort Wayne I drank the seniors Old Milwaukee
Old Crow in Indianapolis I stopped now I regret
every drink I never took all around coffee grounds
and eggshells this sweating a mouthful
of lime as a boy I stole a mint green bra
from a laundromat I took it home to try on
while my parents slept filled its cups with the smallest
turnips in our pantry the underwire grew
into me like a strangler fig my blood roiled then
as now back on earth frogspit is dripping
down wild aloe spikes salmon are bullying
their way upstream there is a pond I leapt into once
with a lonely blonde boy when we scampered out one of us
was in love I could not be held responsible
for desire he could not be held at all I wonder
where he is now if he looked up he might see
me a sparkling I always hoped that when I died
I would know why my brother will be so sad he will tell
his daughter I was better than I was he will leave out
my crueldrunk nights the wet mattresses my driving alone
into cornfields unsure whether I’d drive out I wish
he were here now he could be here this cave
is big enough for everyone look at all the diamonds