I still wear our wedding band around my neck
it props a head swelling with facts of form, function,
and their failures consumed
years at a time
tempers eyes lit with filtered rays
of light boxes and a heart surging hopeful
beats into legs through hospital doors spinning
months at a time
waves as a flag above privileged palms
as they usher in curled hands and dangling cries
above arms that bear the weight of a soul’s new temple
passing the answered prayer to the lips that speak it
days at a time
cloaks my bent and sorrow bathed body as death descends,
authorizes an announcement of time
when cut and dose deliver no cure
sustaining treatment is to clasp hands
with parting observers whispering goodbyes
hours at a time
permits me to step through portals between birth and death,
dividers which like illusions of lasting,
thin over time
Now, clinic doors feign depth
between them I run a marathon of sprints
behind them ache my ears and my tongue
sometimes finding rest on the bridge of eyes met
fifteen minutes at a time
In visits of stunted intervals you demand:
“be meaningful, while I measure your love”
by arms signaling with insurance roused nerves you embrace,
through profit triggered muscles you prod me to justify my expertise
to a machine, a middleman, and a form
fifteen minutes at time
Free me from your shackles
of a customer satisfaction score falsely judging worth
Release me from screens and codes holding thoughts hostage
and chains of provider productivity measures
that keep my bladder full, stomach empty and breaths shallow
It is in unmeasured moments,
as our physician ring reaches to hear a soul’s secrets
encounters become connections
with one patient at a time